Are We Really Friends?

Sometimes I feel that we have to ask this question for the people around us. “Are we really friends?” We have to remember the people that we surround ourselves with, are the people who somewhat reflect what type of person we are. When you surround yourself with a bunch of nobodies, people will consider you a nobody. Lets be honest we judge people on the crowd they surround themselves with, its just human nature

I feel like if I am calling you my friend; that comes with a lot of responsibility. It’s a title I don’t take lightly and I hope no one else does. If you are a friend I feel like you should be able to be direct and talk to me about whatever.  If your “friend” prefers to go on a social network to “subtweet” and/or “write a status about you with out saying your name” they are clearly not your friend. If they rather get the worlds opinion instead of talking to you direct, then that’s a problem.  If we are friends we should be able to discuss anything upfront and resolve any issues we have immediately.

“Are we really friends” if you are easily able to discuss things with people who you just met before talking to me?  “Are we really friends” if you talk about me behind my back instead of directing your issues with me? “Are we really friends” if you prefer using social media as an outlet then coming to me.

We just need to reevaluate “who” we call friends sometimes and people that are in our friend circle. It’s always good to keep your friendships healthy and if someone is holding on by a thread, see what you can do to fix it or just end it. No matter how long you’ve known someone you still have to ask yourself “are we really friends?” Not everyone is for you and those that aren’t need to be removed from your life to make room for personal growth. Those that hang around only want to bring you down and always make you feel negative. So move on with life and always ask yourself, “are we really friends?”

Text/Call Me, Don’t Tweet Me!

We all do it, I’ve caught myself ignoring texts and I continue to tweet. We text someone and they sit there and tweet, before ever responding to us. We sit there like “wtf, did I do something wrong?” or “sooo this person is going to tweet before responding to me?” I think its because we have become comfortable with what society has accepted as the normal forms of communication.

I am guilty of this but I am really trying to do better when responding to people. When someone texts us or calls us we are quick to respond to them via twitter instead of contacting them back the way they contacted us.  Honestly twitter (or any social media) is not a legit form of communication, especially if you have the persons phone number. If you don’t have there contact information, that’s understandable. This generation will see that you text/call them and either send you a DM (direct message) or just tweet you, “Sup u called me?”

Does this make us less personal with the people around us? In a sense yes, especially if its people that you are close to. They may feel some type of way. You will tweet before responding to their text/call, that just shows where your priorities are. This generation is stuck on social media communication but don’t realize it is less personal and it is somewhat of a barrier. Think about this before you ignore a text/call and/or decide to tweet instead of text/call someone back. People may feel like you are ignoring them or have a problem with them if you decide to tweet (or do anything social media related) before contacting them. Everyone is free to do there own thing but see how it feels when it is done to you. Being ignored is not fun.

Bitter Bitches

When I refer to bitter bitches please don’t assume I am referring to females only, I am referring to both male and female. This is a general topic and if you think its about you, just know assumptions never get you anywhere.

Like the topic suggests, I will be touching a little on bitter bitches. Bitter bitches in the sense are people who always try to bring you down if they are not up. People who aren’t happy and need to make sure everyone around them isn’t either. People who will start a problem, when a problem never existed in the first place.

Here is an example of a bitter bitch. Guy best friends both are single living life. Guy1 starts talking to a girl and Guy2 respects that and hopes it works out. Guy1’s girl doesn’t want to talk to him anymore and moves on. Guy1 is sad but part of life. Guy2 starts talking to a girl, but Guy1 isn’t happy with that. So Guy1 becomes a bitter bitch and tries to make sure it doesn’t work because he is not happy. Guy1 says bro’s before hoes. Guy1 tries to make Guy2 feel like either (A) the girl isn’t that attractive and he shouldn’t talk to her or (B) we need more bro time and we cant let a girl interfere, you will have time for a girl later.

A bitter bitch is pretty much a person who isn’t happy and doesn’t want to see you happy either. Its pretty much if I am not happy and positive, no one else around me can be. So they become bitter and try any way to make you just as unhappy as they are or dislike what they don’t like. Bitter Bitch doesn’t have to only apply to relationships but also to other things. Someone could be jealous of you trying to get a new car so they tell you not to get one. They could be a bitter bitch because they feel as though you’re doing a lot with your life and they aren’t doing anything.  

If you have bitter bitches in your circle, maybe its time to tell them. We tend to always bite our tongue instead of speaking our minds but why? We always have people around us that are always negative because something didn’t go their way.  We can’t let other people dictate how we feel and what we do, just because they are bitter. You only drive people away when you become bitter. Sometimes you just want to tell them "Bitch don't kill my vibe" and move on with life. So learn to get over things and move on, you cant be bitter forever.

Bite Your Tongue

Sometimes we are considered that “Friend With No Filter”(click to read topic) but sometimes I feel like if you bite your tongue you won’t be able to express what's really on your mind.  I feel like if we are friends/associates and you know what type of person I am, you should know I will be straightforward about my thoughts. We tend to hide what we are thinking in the fear of hurting someone’s feelings or just losing a friend. If you cant speak openly with people about the truth, then don’t speak about anything at all in my opinion.

This generation is stuck on social media communication and never being direct with there peers. Having a barrier between them and someone else, so they can get that sense of  “they won’t feel as hurt” or  “they wont take it that serious.” Biting your tongue will close a lot more doors then opening them but it will show you who appreciates your honesty. We always thing “oh shit they really said some hurtful shit to me” instead of “dam they really just told me some stuff about myself I didn’t even realize I was doing.” Speak your mind, let your thoughts flow and just be true to yourself. The people you surround yourself with should respect you for not biting your tongue and just being you.

The Claim Game (Part 2)

So we are back to this topic of the “Claim Game” (click onlink to read part 1).  This time I will be talking about a different aspect of the claim game. One that I know a couple of my friends are going through at the moment.

You know when you are interested in someone and you guys are talking back and forth for a good couple months. There is like an unofficial “your mine” type of stare that you give to each other, just saying you know what it is without either person actually saying something. Unofficially claiming the person but wanting it to be officially said. You guys do a lot of things in public, (kiss, hold hands, hug, etc.) but you still pass each other off as “just friends.” Then you ask yourself the question, “Why hasn’t he/she claimed me yet?”

Is it a fear of committing to one person? Fear of knowing you finally found someone good for you? Fear of your past catching up with you? Fear of people knowing you’re with someone? Fear of being tied down or maybe it’s just something we are just not ready for. Like I said in my previous blog, you never want to start claiming someone unless you are really serious about them. People will believe every word you say and run with it.

The “Claim Game” is basically giving someone a TITLE and hoping they act accordingly to the title that was given to them. Next time someone “Claims” you ask yourself “What have I done to allow them to give me a title and think that I am “CLAIMABLE?”

Things You Should Work On For 2013

It is now 2013 and all I’ve been hearing is “new year new me”. Ummm I am pretty sure you said that last year and the year before so please take a seat. I feel like if your going to say that make sure you prove that with actions. Words really don’t mean anything unless you can prove that you are going to change. The Things I feel everyone should work on for 2013 are evaluating your friend circles, trying to stay consistent, being more verbal, building on trust/loyalty and believing actions over words.

Evaluate Your Friend Circle

Some things I think everyone should work on for this year is evaluating their “friend” circle and eliminating those people who don’t bring value to there lives. Its cool to be surrounded by people but if they are not doing anything with there lives besides popping mollies and sweating, well then reevaluate your friendships. If you need to cut people off, cut them off immediately. You can't carry around dead weight forever.

Stay Consistent

Consistency should be another thing we work on. (Consistency in our work, with our friends, with our families and in every day life) When you are not consistent with things, they tend to fall apart quickly. Also try and be consistent with the people around you. We all hate having people who flip flop on things they say so try and prove to them why consistency works.

Be More Verbal

Verbal in the sense of communication, people who say nothing tend to end up with nothing. The best thing you can do is voice your opinion and be direct with people. Never try to sugar coat shit, just say what's on your mind. Mean what you say and say what you mean.

Build on Trust and Loyalty

In this day and age people really lack trust and loyalty to each other. It’s all about throwing someone under the bus. We should work on building on the trust and loyalty we have with the people that are close to us before searching for more people to include in our circles. People can say that they are loyal or you can trust them but words can only go so far. Build on what you already have before searching for anything new.

Believe Actions Over Words

Last thing is that people should not give words so much value unless they are backed up by actions. We tend to believe words just because of the person who is saying them but all in all if their actions don’t align with there words what's the point? Before you believe 100% of somebodies words make sure they have proven themselves to you with their actions. Actions should always tell you if someones words carry any weight to them.

"Nothing is predestined. The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings"-Ralph Blum