The Claim Game

~Kevin P.

We all have been victims of this at one point or another so we all have a sense of what the claim game is. We play it when we don’t even know we are playing it, the claim game in a sense can either be good or bad. Good in the sense that people know who this person is to you or bad in the sense that people claim you with the wrong title that you really don’t want. People maybe should ask before claiming or make the other person aware that there about to be claimed. Do something that doesn’t make you look stupid and hurt in the process.

When it comes to relationships and getting to know people, we like to claim those people. “Yeah you are wifey I am feeling you” or “Yeah that’s my hubby we chill heavy.” I think as human beings we just naturally do that when we talking or getting to know someone and we feel comfortable with them. Sometimes we lead people on to think that it’s okay for them to give us titles when inside we are just like “WTF?! We just met fall back’” or “Please don’t call me that.” Tell them how you feel so they get the message. You have to set the ground rules in the beginning but if your okay with them calling you the names boo, wifey, hubby, baby etc. do you just be warned it has repercussions if you don’t actually intend to get with them. The “Claim Game” is basically giving someone a TITLE and hoping they act accordingly to the title that was given to them. Next time someone “Claims” you ask yourself “What have I done to allow them to give me a title and think that I am “CLAIMABLE?”

Jamel V. will explain in more detail for those who still don’t understand but this goes BOTH WAYS for male and female.

~Jamal V.

To piggyback on what Kevin began in his last blog, the claim game is a constant fixture in relationships today. Unfortunately, the boundaries of claiming somebody are bleak, uncertain, and can come with a load of mixed feelings and emotional casualties.

The claim game starts as simple as two people who hang out, vibe well, and mesh with each other. You can even say they're equally yoked. More time is being spent together without the "official" title being put on, and serves as a partial test drive of what's to come.

There are several problems that can come out of the claim game:

1. Feelings are not balanced and can result in being led on to think something more than what is there.

2. A level of comfort develops, which leads to stagnicity in the relationship, therefore not allowing things to develop further and more maturely.

3. A level of co-dependency develops, which far exceeds the dependent nature of a normal relationship.

These are just the first few problems that come to mind when the infamous and dreaded "claim game" is played.

Unfortunately, I have been a victim of the 3 classic examples listed above. I've been lied to about how they feel about me, a level of comfort has been developed, and the women have developed more of a co-dependent relationship with me than I'm sure of anybody in their immediate past. Based on the women of MY past, I question how independent women truly "claim" to be.

In closing, don't be so quick to claim, then point fingers on who to blame, because you'll end up being lame, and from square 1 be the same.