Suicidal Thoughts

I understand when something traumatic and unexpected happens in your life people assume the worst. For the past 3 months I feel like people assumed I would do the worse to myself just because. Yes I may be in a negative space for awhile but that would never force me to do something drastic. Hurting myself would never lead to anything positive and I’ve always been a positive person. With all the pain in the world why would I take the easy way out and quit?

People would constantly say, “I hope you don’t hurt yourself” or “The world still needs you so don’t do anything crazy.” That got me thinking, “What crazy thing would I really do to myself?” I think it was the people constantly telling me this that had me at a moment of weakness. I sat down and thought really hard about it. It made no sense to me that they would say something like this to me. Maybe because I’ve always been a strong minded person that never breaks or was it that as of late I haven’t been that positive with people. Just because I am broken doesn’t mean I would do something that is out of my character. It might be the pressure of people telling me not to do it, that it instilled the random thought of me thinking about doing it. People forcing me to think about it instead of people just telling me to continue being positive. When you hear something so much you start to second guess the type of person you are. I honestly had to revisit some poems and put my self back in check. 

Test of a Man (click here)

The Test of a man is the fight that he makes,

The grit that he daily shows,

The way he stands upon his feet,

And takes life’s numerous bumps and blows . . . .

I felt as this was a test to bring me back to the person who I was before everything. Sometimes I have my moments when I just need alone time but it’s all about recovering. I have never been the person to end my life or cause any harm to myself. I am normally the one talking people out of doing harmful things to themselves. I will never be a person that quits on myself or on the world just because something has happened. I love my friends, family and my life way too much to consider putting them through any pain. Darkness can only live here but so long before light finds its way in and guides you towards better things.

Don’t Quit (click here)

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to weep but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest if you must, but don't you quit. . . . .

Genuine (Part 2)

We always fail to realize the genuine people that we have in our corner. Those individuals that are thrown into our lives and make it better. We are too busy lost in our own bubble to realize how genuine they are but we do thank them. We live in a society where we think that genuine people no longer exist and that everyone is out to get you. Never realizing that person that we pushed away was actually one of the best pieces of the puzzle that completed our lives.

The moment someone is genuine with us we think they are out to get us or this is a lie. Just because something in your life has gone bad before doesn’t mean everything in your life will. The energy you give off is the same energy you will attract. Some people come around and are truly genuine but we have this assumption, “What are your intentions coming into my life?”  A person who knows your true worth and values you as an individual will always find a way to fit into the puzzle of your life. 

The positive energy you exhibit will always attract those genuine people that you think don’t exist. The moment you have those genuine people in your life you should cherish them. You should cherish everyone as the world has but so many of them to share. Always show appreciation to those individuals who make the days a little better.

Thank you to everyone that has remained genuine in my life.

“I love the genuine people who are in my life and make my life amazing. I also love those fake people who left my life and made it even more fantastic!”

Do It For The Likes (Part 2)

Back to this topic “Do It For The Likes” because we are the generation of “likes”. The more likes you have, the more power you have? Nah people just like your stuff really. Do social media “likes” have any real value? Yes and No. It’s really up to us to determine how much power a social media “like” has over us but I think people don’t get that sometimes. If they don’t get enough likes on something over a 10 minute period they could just delete it because it didn’t do the numbers they wanted.

Talking in one of my group chats about things posted on social media and we talked about what things we see that people do for likes. I brought up the fact that most people don’t leave anything for the imagination as far as pics. The first image you see of someone you will just “assume” that they are something they are not. For example, if you are trying to get to know someone and you guys exchange IG names. The first picture you see is a half naked pic in the mirror, what will be your first assumption? This questions applies to both male and female. Yes we do have a lot of IG models out here but not everyone is an IG model, some people are just searching for approval or attention. My thing is when you finally get into something with this person will the first time seeing them this way really “wow” you like it did when you saw it on Instagram? 

Just a reminder, not everything should be shared on social media. Jobs are using social media before they hire some people and also people are losing their jobs because of social media. Is a “like” really worth it? Before doing it for the likes make sure you are not setting yourself up for failure. Not everything needs to be shared for likes. 

“I don’t broadcast every high and I don’t hide every low. I’m trying to live. I’m not trying to convince the world I have a life.”