Don’t Make a New Years Resolution

Let’s be serious the amount of people that make a New Years resolution and don’t follow them has to be in the thousands. Why are you wasting your time with one? You just know you won’t follow it. Every year people tend to make some type of decision(s) that they want to change or do for the following year and don’t follow it. These are disguised as New Years Resolutions. Once you throw something into this category I just feel like you won’t do it. It is literally a crutch that hinders you from growth especially if you are not a motivated person.

Let’s say you are a motivated person you more then likely won’t create a New Years resolution you will just create a set of goals for yourself to achieve. For example in 2016 I want to be able to cook a 5 star meal for the people I know. This is just a statement to yourself, with no set time frame. Just in 2016 you want to be able to cook a 5 star meal. Unexpected things could happen and make you completely forget about this resolution, even if you put it on a sticky note on your wall. In the next 3 months I want to be able to cook a 5 star meal for the people I know. Right here you’re sounding like a champ, you set a goal for yourself to complete this in the next 3 months. Setting a goal for yourself it will always ring in your head like, “Hey buddy, didn’t you want to learn how to cook or nah?” "You really suck right now if you don’t get these cooking skills up”,” So you really going to ignore me right now?” It will just keep reminding you that you set a goal for yourself and you haven’t started to work on it. New Years resolutions people create all the time and just throw them in the trash or recycle it for the next time you have to make a New Years resolution.  The moment you make a New Years resolution you already lost the race.

Not saying that people don’t stick to them but something has to drive you to want to stick to it. The biggest New Years resolution I hear from most people is that they are going to the gym and trying to be healthy this year. Don’t lie to yourself, you are only hurting you and not me. People start in the gym maybe a good 2-3 weeks and then just burn out. They see a little result and say, “Yeah I am good for the year.” The moment the summer come and you see one of your friends reaching a “goal” they set for themselves instead of a New Years resolution then you are going to want to hit the gym more often. You don’t realize that progress doesn’t happen overnight and you can’t get that body you wanted immediately. So you wait until New Years Eve and make another resolution to yourself that you won’t keep.

Moral of the story, just set goals for yourself. New Years resolutions aren’t realistic achievements and are more like wishes. "I wish I could do this" or "I wish I could do that." You should actually set realistic goals for yourself. Give yourself a deadline to reach your goal and push yourself to meet them. You will have to stay consistent in everything you do to show your growth but you will make it in no time. You are the only thing holding you back from being great.

"You can make a wish, or you can make it happen"

Jealousy

I would have to say jealousy is one of those feelings you really can’t avoid. Everyone has it and it always seems to shows its face when you least expect it. For all of 2015 I have just been living life, being happy and exploring new things. Ultimately I have been happy with no issues but people hate to see you happy if they aren’t happy. Jealousy is a hell of a drug and God don’t like ugly. Not saying jealousy is a bad thing but too much of it can make you come off as a really bad person.

I really don’t like posting my life on social media but sometimes I slip up and post it. People see what I am doing and always have something negative to say. These are the people I Ignore. When someone hits you with the “how was your lil trip?” or “how is your lil friend doing” you already know they are bitter, jealous and pissed. Anyone that hits you with the “lil” in between something is mad at your life. This is not up for debate. The other thing is when people say “why you ain’t take me with you? You would have had a lot more fun if I came.” I heard this about 8 times this year, I didn’t invite you for a reason. 

I personally think that everyone gets jealous no matter if you’re in a friendship or relationship. Not saying if you’re in a relationship you go out and flirt with someone but the “thought” that you are gets your significant other jealous. Makes them try a lot harder to keep your attention. We look on someone’s social media feed and see comments from the opposite sex like, “wtf are they cheating on me” or “is that someone they use to talk to?” It’s always something not so serious but it happens, especially if you start over thinking things. Sometimes in friendships people get jealous if you invite one person out over the other person. They see pictures online or they hear that you had a great time with the other person and not them, so they get mad. It happens, life happens you just have to not let it get to you. 

Jealousy is something that happens in all of us, we are human. To let it consume you and make you a bitter person is not good. Take a step back, catch your life before jealousy grabs a hold of you and never let’s you go. 

“Jealousy is just love and hate at the same time” Drake (Over My Dead Body)

When are you having kids?

The face I make every time I get asked this question. I get it I am getting older and time is ticking but you not going to ask me this question all the dam time. Why don’t you mind your business and step all the way out of my life. I feel like if you don’t know my life you shouldn’t ask me this question. I feel like people around my age or older/younger then me that already have kids always just ask me that. With my friends we always joke around like, “Yeah you’re next to get married” or “You’re having kids first” but that’s just something we do since we are getting older.Personally before anything I want to get married and then have kids. Not saying I don’t ever want to have kids just saying I want to get MARRIED first. One hurdle at a time because the moment you bring in new life into this world is the moment that everything changes.

Imagine having a child in your image. Feeding them, grooming them, making sure they know right from wrong, educating them and making sure that they are on the right path. That is a huge step to take and it should be planned out and not rushed.  I know no matter what I do in life that having kids will be the best experience in the world. My mom told me that she trust the decisions I make in life because she raised me right. When I have a child I want to be able to do the same thing for them. I don’t want them to regret anything in life and just want them to live it.

When are you going to get married? I think that’s a better question and I would just say, “You know it’s in the works.” That’s a planning process with your significant other just like having kids. Can I make sure my life is situated before I have kids? Can I be off child support with Sallie Mae before I have kids? I noticed with some people who have kids they always tend to regret the trips and adventures they didn’t take. I don’t want to be that person. Yes I love going on my adventures and trips but that doesn’t mean I am going to stop when I have kids. That just means I will have to include them in the fold. I think people should be more mindful of when they ask, “When are you having kids?” Only because you don’t know if someone isn’t able to create a child. Someone just doesn’t want to have children. They may have tried a number of times but have failed each time. You should also be mindful of when you ask someone “When are you going to get married?” They might not want to do that or they just haven’t been asked yet. You don’t really know what someone is going through to be asking personal life changing questions

When are you having kids Kevin? Honest answer is probably a couple months after I get married. I want to be in my own place and at least put a ring on her finger before anything. Everyone has a different answer for this but be mindful when you generally ask this question. Sometimes it can hurt the person more then you think.

“Life is a journey with problems to solve, lessons to learn, but most of all, experiences to enjoy”