The LIST of Grievances -knowing what you want in dealing with the opposite sex (By Jessica J-C)

So, Kevin has invited me to shed some light on his frustrations regarding male - female interaction. While I don’t pretend to know everything about relationships, I do enjoy talking to other people about them and learning from others, while putting in my .08 cents here and there.

A portion of our BBM conversation on Monday went as follows:

Kevin: Females are confusing. That is all. Still enjoying my summer though… Everything is going right. But females can never be direct with what they want with me. I’m supposed to read their minds and figure it out. Hate it…lol

Jessica: They’re not direct with what they want because they don’t know what they want! Plain and Simple!

…yeah I took it there. But out of all fairness (because I am a female and I am naturally biased :-P), I will say that both men and women have their moments where they cannot be direct with what they want because they just simply don’t know what they want. Everyone at some point in time goes through it. Especially those of us who are in their early twenties and are experimenting with new found freedom. we’re still young and are trying to navigate the world of adult relationships. We play games to learn what we want and to see what we can get away with. We want to be able to have our cake and eat it too. Who doesn’t??

And the conversation progressed, Kevin shared a list of grievances - the things he has experienced with females that simply grinds his gears. I’ll try to address them to the best of my ability. Not that I have done, will do, or support anything listed below…I’m just playing the devil’s advocate here!

The ones that push up too damn hard

Could be one of two things. Either ole girl REALLY likes you and will not take no for an answer. Or it could just be an ego thing. Women DO chase, just as men do, and enjoy the challenge of snagging something that is hard to get, just for fun. Its an ego thing.

Using sex to keep a guy around.

Ummm…that’s called manipulation regardless of it being intentional or not. It’s simply not cool. If someone doesn’t want to be with you then just let them leave. You should want someone to stay with you out of their own FREE WILL and not because you are holding them hostage.

Rushing something that doesn’t need to be rushed.

They want the relationship, sex, whatever it is they want. And they want it FAST. They like you, and they are focused on the way they feel at that time, so they feel the need to jump the gun and give your relationship a title. They want to snag you before someone else does and they want to eliminate the chances of you screwing them over so they want to claim you.

Not stating when they’re with someone so they can talk to you.

Ok, for the record, men are guilty of this too, along with everything else on this list of grievances. That’s another case of someone wanting to have their cake and eat it too. It’s deceiving and manipulative, and it some cases considered to be cheating.

As I mentioned before, both men and women are guilty of doing things on Kevin’s list of grievances. We all need to remember that the next time you say that someone of the opposite sex is bipolar. Everyone, at some point in time will be confused about what they want. It’s not just a male vs. female thing.

And don’t think it’s a bad thing to not know what you want. Like I said before, many of us are young and are still trying to learn and get adapted to being in relationships. BUT, it becomes a problem when someone’s feelings are at stake as a result of your indecisiveness. But I’ll save that for another conversation…