Sometimes when we are looking for a significant other we look at the most unnecessary places or just not the right places at all. Why? That’s we do as humans we think it’s okay to look for people anywhere and see no wrong in it. Have you ever thought that people go to certain places just because they think they won’t be bothered by certain people just because they want to enjoy themselves? People don’t expect to be bothered at certain venues because of how awkward it is such as Funerals, Clubs, the gas station etc.
Location: Club
This is the NORM for some people to bag and tag partners in the party scene. Usually the club is a “iffy” place because most clubs aren’t meant for you to look for a partner at. People go to clubs to have fun, enjoy themselves, get there swerve on, relieve some stress and just do them with their friends. If your intentions every time is to walk into a club and be like “Ima bag that person right there and that one too” then you definitely not enjoying yourself. Sometimes it’s not even the social setting for something like that at all. Lounges are SOMETIMES places to socialize with people and get to know them at, but if people are trying to dance and tell you to step off then that really isn’t a good environment to be searching for a partner. It’s okay to make friends with them and go about your own thing but if you’re trying to be more than just a friend within that 4-5 hour timeframe and hang around them the whole time asking them a million questions about them while they are trying to have a good time that’s not a good look at all.
Location: FuneralYou’re at a family, friends, someone you know funeral and your paying your last respect for a person you know. This is usually a time to reflect on the times you spent with them and the happy moments in life. There are always those people who try to get you at your weakest time and feel that it will benefit them. I feel as though this is just completely disrespectful, them trying to mourn a loss and you coming in to try and bag them. This is the wrong setting for something like this its cool if you talk to them and comfort them through the situation, but if your intentions are just to get with them cause there at their weakest point this is filthy and disgusting and you should rethink who you are as a person.
Location: Gas Station
I think this has to be the worst setting especially if you’re in a rush to go somewhere (that’s usually ALL the time) and someone stops you and tries to have a long conversation with you. Just take my number and we can text each other at another point in time and point but your bout to make me late so move out the way. If you got the time go right ahead but me personally the only time I need gas is when I need to be somewhere important and fast and if someone came up to me asking 21 questions about my life I would just give her my number and I’ll forward her my resume later.
Searching for a partner where ever you go should not be a priority on your list you should just get to know people and figure out what you do from there. There is always a time and place for everything but these particular situations you have to know exactly WHEN and WHERE the right time to do these.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Is It Real Love?
When we think about love we think about many different things like the love you have for your parents, family, friends, food, shirt, sneakers, phone etc. The love I will be talking about is the love that people say they have for each other such as the love of a friend, the love for a significant other, etc. We, as humans, tend to throw the word love around sometimes not even understanding what it means or “WHY” we have love for each other.
To have love for a friend is to say that you trust them in a sense and you have their back no matter what the situation. To have love for a friend is something that is as deep as calling someone your BEST FRIEND, it’s like they are your extended family and you trust them. I have people that I love as an extended family because I grew up with them and I trust them with a lot of things. These people I feel as though whenever I am going through something they are always there to pick me up no matter what. I won’t hit them up for 2-3 days and they will call me like “You better have a reason for not checking in with me.” You will fight with these people toe to toe and be mad about random issues but at the end of the day you laugh it off and still have love for them.
To have love for a significant other is a very tricky subject because some people throw the world love around when they want to keep someone, make someone feel special or just want to use it because it sounds good. Before having love for a significant other ask yourself these questions,
1. When you’re with them do you feel as if you are on another planet with just them on your mind and in your heart?
2. Does the world seem brighter and more beautiful than usual?
3. Do you wake up and go to sleep feeling completed?
4. When you are away from them for a long period of time do you only think about them?
5. Are you able to ignore the negative/imperfect things about them?
6. Can you be 100 percent yourself with them and feel comfortable?
7. Do they make you feel good about yourself?
For me it is a million more questions, but these are the simple key questions that if they can’t fully be answered then sometimes the word love has no meaning. Love is a feeling that comes from inside of you, you necessarily DON’T have to ask yourself these questions to prove that you are in love with somebody but something has to be fueling why you are in love with someone. You can’t be talking to someone for two weeks and feel that they are getting less interested and drop the L bomb on them like it’s the right thing to do, NO IT IS NOT. The other person usually sits there either thinking 1.Is It Real Love? 2.You can't be serious. or 3.Why? Everything takes time you can't rush love or defining why you love someone. With time comes better opportunity for more doors to open with this person and for you to understand more of why you love them and define to yourself and them that it is REAL LOVE.
Live, Laugh and Love that’s all you can do.
To have love for a friend is to say that you trust them in a sense and you have their back no matter what the situation. To have love for a friend is something that is as deep as calling someone your BEST FRIEND, it’s like they are your extended family and you trust them. I have people that I love as an extended family because I grew up with them and I trust them with a lot of things. These people I feel as though whenever I am going through something they are always there to pick me up no matter what. I won’t hit them up for 2-3 days and they will call me like “You better have a reason for not checking in with me.” You will fight with these people toe to toe and be mad about random issues but at the end of the day you laugh it off and still have love for them.
To have love for a significant other is a very tricky subject because some people throw the world love around when they want to keep someone, make someone feel special or just want to use it because it sounds good. Before having love for a significant other ask yourself these questions,
1. When you’re with them do you feel as if you are on another planet with just them on your mind and in your heart?
2. Does the world seem brighter and more beautiful than usual?
3. Do you wake up and go to sleep feeling completed?
4. When you are away from them for a long period of time do you only think about them?
5. Are you able to ignore the negative/imperfect things about them?
6. Can you be 100 percent yourself with them and feel comfortable?
7. Do they make you feel good about yourself?
For me it is a million more questions, but these are the simple key questions that if they can’t fully be answered then sometimes the word love has no meaning. Love is a feeling that comes from inside of you, you necessarily DON’T have to ask yourself these questions to prove that you are in love with somebody but something has to be fueling why you are in love with someone. You can’t be talking to someone for two weeks and feel that they are getting less interested and drop the L bomb on them like it’s the right thing to do, NO IT IS NOT. The other person usually sits there either thinking 1.Is It Real Love? 2.You can't be serious. or 3.Why? Everything takes time you can't rush love or defining why you love someone. With time comes better opportunity for more doors to open with this person and for you to understand more of why you love them and define to yourself and them that it is REAL LOVE.
Live, Laugh and Love that’s all you can do.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
The LIST of Grievances -knowing what you want in dealing with the opposite sex (By Jessica J-C)
So, Kevin has invited me to shed some light on his frustrations regarding male - female interaction. While I don’t pretend to know everything about relationships, I do enjoy talking to other people about them and learning from others, while putting in my .08 cents here and there.
A portion of our BBM conversation on Monday went as follows:
Kevin: Females are confusing. That is all. Still enjoying my summer though… Everything is going right. But females can never be direct with what they want with me. I’m supposed to read their minds and figure it out. Hate it…lol
Jessica: They’re not direct with what they want because they don’t know what they want! Plain and Simple!
…yeah I took it there. But out of all fairness (because I am a female and I am naturally biased :-P), I will say that both men and women have their moments where they cannot be direct with what they want because they just simply don’t know what they want. Everyone at some point in time goes through it. Especially those of us who are in their early twenties and are experimenting with new found freedom. we’re still young and are trying to navigate the world of adult relationships. We play games to learn what we want and to see what we can get away with. We want to be able to have our cake and eat it too. Who doesn’t??
And the conversation progressed, Kevin shared a list of grievances - the things he has experienced with females that simply grinds his gears. I’ll try to address them to the best of my ability. Not that I have done, will do, or support anything listed below…I’m just playing the devil’s advocate here!
The ones that push up too damn hard
Could be one of two things. Either ole girl REALLY likes you and will not take no for an answer. Or it could just be an ego thing. Women DO chase, just as men do, and enjoy the challenge of snagging something that is hard to get, just for fun. Its an ego thing.
Using sex to keep a guy around.
Ummm…that’s called manipulation regardless of it being intentional or not. It’s simply not cool. If someone doesn’t want to be with you then just let them leave. You should want someone to stay with you out of their own FREE WILL and not because you are holding them hostage.
Rushing something that doesn’t need to be rushed.
They want the relationship, sex, whatever it is they want. And they want it FAST. They like you, and they are focused on the way they feel at that time, so they feel the need to jump the gun and give your relationship a title. They want to snag you before someone else does and they want to eliminate the chances of you screwing them over so they want to claim you.
Not stating when they’re with someone so they can talk to you.
Ok, for the record, men are guilty of this too, along with everything else on this list of grievances. That’s another case of someone wanting to have their cake and eat it too. It’s deceiving and manipulative, and it some cases considered to be cheating.
As I mentioned before, both men and women are guilty of doing things on Kevin’s list of grievances. We all need to remember that the next time you say that someone of the opposite sex is bipolar. Everyone, at some point in time will be confused about what they want. It’s not just a male vs. female thing.
And don’t think it’s a bad thing to not know what you want. Like I said before, many of us are young and are still trying to learn and get adapted to being in relationships. BUT, it becomes a problem when someone’s feelings are at stake as a result of your indecisiveness. But I’ll save that for another conversation…
A portion of our BBM conversation on Monday went as follows:
Kevin: Females are confusing. That is all. Still enjoying my summer though… Everything is going right. But females can never be direct with what they want with me. I’m supposed to read their minds and figure it out. Hate it…lol
Jessica: They’re not direct with what they want because they don’t know what they want! Plain and Simple!
…yeah I took it there. But out of all fairness (because I am a female and I am naturally biased :-P), I will say that both men and women have their moments where they cannot be direct with what they want because they just simply don’t know what they want. Everyone at some point in time goes through it. Especially those of us who are in their early twenties and are experimenting with new found freedom. we’re still young and are trying to navigate the world of adult relationships. We play games to learn what we want and to see what we can get away with. We want to be able to have our cake and eat it too. Who doesn’t??
And the conversation progressed, Kevin shared a list of grievances - the things he has experienced with females that simply grinds his gears. I’ll try to address them to the best of my ability. Not that I have done, will do, or support anything listed below…I’m just playing the devil’s advocate here!
The ones that push up too damn hard
Could be one of two things. Either ole girl REALLY likes you and will not take no for an answer. Or it could just be an ego thing. Women DO chase, just as men do, and enjoy the challenge of snagging something that is hard to get, just for fun. Its an ego thing.
Using sex to keep a guy around.
Ummm…that’s called manipulation regardless of it being intentional or not. It’s simply not cool. If someone doesn’t want to be with you then just let them leave. You should want someone to stay with you out of their own FREE WILL and not because you are holding them hostage.
Rushing something that doesn’t need to be rushed.
They want the relationship, sex, whatever it is they want. And they want it FAST. They like you, and they are focused on the way they feel at that time, so they feel the need to jump the gun and give your relationship a title. They want to snag you before someone else does and they want to eliminate the chances of you screwing them over so they want to claim you.
Not stating when they’re with someone so they can talk to you.
Ok, for the record, men are guilty of this too, along with everything else on this list of grievances. That’s another case of someone wanting to have their cake and eat it too. It’s deceiving and manipulative, and it some cases considered to be cheating.
As I mentioned before, both men and women are guilty of doing things on Kevin’s list of grievances. We all need to remember that the next time you say that someone of the opposite sex is bipolar. Everyone, at some point in time will be confused about what they want. It’s not just a male vs. female thing.
And don’t think it’s a bad thing to not know what you want. Like I said before, many of us are young and are still trying to learn and get adapted to being in relationships. BUT, it becomes a problem when someone’s feelings are at stake as a result of your indecisiveness. But I’ll save that for another conversation…
Saturday, July 10, 2010
H-A-T-E-R-S part2 "Why do haters exist?"
As we wake up every day we sometimes wake up with a twitch, not a normal twitch but the twitch you know that someone is hating on you. Some people get frustrated over these people and always ask themselves "Why do haters exist?" There are a million reasons why haters exist but you literally have to sit there and say it aloud to yourself "WHY DO HATERS EXIST?"
Haters exist mainly for the purpose of bringing you down as an individual and holding you back from growing. As stated before by Jamel V "A hater can bring you down, often making you question yourself and wonder if the things they are saying about you are true. They make you wonder yourself worth and value while often stopping you from being on your game." They thrive off of your despair and your sadness.
You can always turn this into a positive thing like I do and remake the definition of "WHY DO HATERS EXIST?" These "haters" exist to make you feel better about yourself; they are here to push you forward because you know someone is watching you and "LIKE" what you are doing. They wish they could do it themselves but they are not as talented so they encourage you to do better by trying to make you feel bad about how things are turning out. These people are that personal fan club you wanted all along but you don't realize it unless you are thinking positive about it.
When asking yourself "WHY DO HATERS EXIST?" Just tell yourself they exist because everyone needs a cheering section. They ARE your personal cheering section to motivate you to continue to do better then them in every aspect of life. Don't get down because someone gives you negative responses, there just pushing you to better yourself in every aspect of your life.
Haters exist mainly for the purpose of bringing you down as an individual and holding you back from growing. As stated before by Jamel V "A hater can bring you down, often making you question yourself and wonder if the things they are saying about you are true. They make you wonder yourself worth and value while often stopping you from being on your game." They thrive off of your despair and your sadness.
You can always turn this into a positive thing like I do and remake the definition of "WHY DO HATERS EXIST?" These "haters" exist to make you feel better about yourself; they are here to push you forward because you know someone is watching you and "LIKE" what you are doing. They wish they could do it themselves but they are not as talented so they encourage you to do better by trying to make you feel bad about how things are turning out. These people are that personal fan club you wanted all along but you don't realize it unless you are thinking positive about it.
When asking yourself "WHY DO HATERS EXIST?" Just tell yourself they exist because everyone needs a cheering section. They ARE your personal cheering section to motivate you to continue to do better then them in every aspect of life. Don't get down because someone gives you negative responses, there just pushing you to better yourself in every aspect of your life.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
" H-A-T-E-R-S" part1
Good day all, today's topic will be about "haters" this is part 1 provided by us by my good friend Jamel sooooo enjoy . . .
Jamel V.
Hater is defined as the following:
- to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward;.
- to be unwilling; dislike: I hate to do it.
- to feel intense dislike, or extreme aversion or hostility.
The definition of a hater in today's society is somebody who follows all of these definitions. In addition, they are people who smile in your face, lie with their teeth, and have no problem bad mouthing you behind your back. They're the kind of people that embrace negativity, especially towards you. They want nothing but bad things for you and wish bad "ju-ju" upon you in all levels, including relationships, jobs, and other opportunities.
A hater can do one of two things. A hater can bring you down, often making you question yourself and wonder if the things they are saying about you are true. They make you wonder your self worth and value while often stopping you from being on your game. They are often the voice that you hear in your head as you begin to move forward but often move backwards because of doubt and uncertainty that these candy-asses possess. They thrive off this unknown given power to them.
For me, haters give me ammunition. If I'm pissing people off and making them mad because I'm doing something with my life, that's a good thing. For me, I'm not somebody who is physical and causes bodily harm to others. I'm a person whose actions speak louder than my words. I love to mentally mess with my haters because no matter what they say to me, the fact that I eat, sleep, and breathe success, the fact that I'm moving higher and not at the half step level that they're at, and the fact that I'm Jamel Vanderburg and they're not makes them a bunch of no good scum sucking bastards. I have far better things to do with my time than to be concerned with people's comments and actions that make turd markings look like hieroglyphics and something to actually care about.
Bottom line: haters motivate. Don't let them bring you down, but elevate you to where you wanna be, have to be, and need to be. I go by this motto: At the end of the day, I'll always win because while you're stuck in the past and stuck in a parasitic world, I'm soaring with the eagles and crapping on your negativity in all ways. HA-HA!!!
Jamel V.
Hater is defined as the following:
- to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward;.
- to be unwilling; dislike: I hate to do it.
- to feel intense dislike, or extreme aversion or hostility.
The definition of a hater in today's society is somebody who follows all of these definitions. In addition, they are people who smile in your face, lie with their teeth, and have no problem bad mouthing you behind your back. They're the kind of people that embrace negativity, especially towards you. They want nothing but bad things for you and wish bad "ju-ju" upon you in all levels, including relationships, jobs, and other opportunities.
A hater can do one of two things. A hater can bring you down, often making you question yourself and wonder if the things they are saying about you are true. They make you wonder your self worth and value while often stopping you from being on your game. They are often the voice that you hear in your head as you begin to move forward but often move backwards because of doubt and uncertainty that these candy-asses possess. They thrive off this unknown given power to them.
For me, haters give me ammunition. If I'm pissing people off and making them mad because I'm doing something with my life, that's a good thing. For me, I'm not somebody who is physical and causes bodily harm to others. I'm a person whose actions speak louder than my words. I love to mentally mess with my haters because no matter what they say to me, the fact that I eat, sleep, and breathe success, the fact that I'm moving higher and not at the half step level that they're at, and the fact that I'm Jamel Vanderburg and they're not makes them a bunch of no good scum sucking bastards. I have far better things to do with my time than to be concerned with people's comments and actions that make turd markings look like hieroglyphics and something to actually care about.
Bottom line: haters motivate. Don't let them bring you down, but elevate you to where you wanna be, have to be, and need to be. I go by this motto: At the end of the day, I'll always win because while you're stuck in the past and stuck in a parasitic world, I'm soaring with the eagles and crapping on your negativity in all ways. HA-HA!!!
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Why Do Taken People Act Like There Single?
So as some of us come to realize whenever we go out to the clubs, parties, get together or just some type of social event. There are always those one or two people who act like there not taken so they are all over the place. Questions is why are you taken bout act single?
Everyone encounters someone like this no matter where they go in life. One of my experiences is that I met this chick at a party and we made eye contact, she grabbed my hand and pulled me in (I’m a person who loves to network, meet new people and just learn) . She then started to ask 21 million questions and literally had me with her the whole night, dancing talking and having a good time. We took each other’s contact info down and continued to talk back and forth for about a week or so. She added me on facebook and to my surprise it said she was in a relationship, when she told me she was single. She got a lot of pictures with her hubby and all that, when i asked her "Why are you acting single?" she simply said to me that she temporarily is single and looking for someone new but she is still with her boyfriend. After this i told her to delete my number and keep it moving i will not be involved in somebody’s game.
I understand when you out with your people your significant other isn't around so you want to do you at the moment but leading people on is a big NO NO. This to me shows how little respect you have for your relationship and the person you are with. Respect and trust are the 2 main ingredients to a relationship and to have one without the other is impossible. So once again "why do taken people act like there single?" maybe because they feel as though they need to see if they still got it. They try to see if there able to pull stuff how they use to when they where single. They just need some type of rush or change in their life.
It is cool to network and socialize with people where ever you go but just know that in the back of your mind you are “already taken." When getting other people's number's it should be all about networking and being upfront with certain things if there getting attached to you.
Everyone encounters someone like this no matter where they go in life. One of my experiences is that I met this chick at a party and we made eye contact, she grabbed my hand and pulled me in (I’m a person who loves to network, meet new people and just learn) . She then started to ask 21 million questions and literally had me with her the whole night, dancing talking and having a good time. We took each other’s contact info down and continued to talk back and forth for about a week or so. She added me on facebook and to my surprise it said she was in a relationship, when she told me she was single. She got a lot of pictures with her hubby and all that, when i asked her "Why are you acting single?" she simply said to me that she temporarily is single and looking for someone new but she is still with her boyfriend. After this i told her to delete my number and keep it moving i will not be involved in somebody’s game.
I understand when you out with your people your significant other isn't around so you want to do you at the moment but leading people on is a big NO NO. This to me shows how little respect you have for your relationship and the person you are with. Respect and trust are the 2 main ingredients to a relationship and to have one without the other is impossible. So once again "why do taken people act like there single?" maybe because they feel as though they need to see if they still got it. They try to see if there able to pull stuff how they use to when they where single. They just need some type of rush or change in their life.
It is cool to network and socialize with people where ever you go but just know that in the back of your mind you are “already taken." When getting other people's number's it should be all about networking and being upfront with certain things if there getting attached to you.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Music For The Moment
Music we listen to when we are relaxing, at a party or with our friends. I know at times we listen to music that usually fits our mood or the time of day. With today's type of music we can find music to fit ANY situation that we are going through or just that time of the day when you are about to start the weekend and just be HYPE to leave work.
You just got paid and your soupped and want to buy things
Money to Blow(Birdman)
You @ the club you bag like 5 numbers
P.I.M.P.(50 cent)
Fucked over by someone
On To The Next One(Jay Z)
Seriously why you in my way?
Move Bitch(Ludacris)
Deep stare into each others eyes,ready for the next step
Unthinkable(Alicia Keys)
Feeling like a baller(after your paycheck)out with girl at mall
Throw it in the bag REMIX (Fabolous)
Found that person that you only want
One Love(Trey Songz)
Leaving work on a Friday to start your weekend
All The Way Turnt Up(Roscoe Dash)
We have songs that we always associate with what’s going on around us ALL the time especially if you listen to a lot of music. This I believe shows how unique and strange some of us are. If you don't do this, well then you’re just a completely normal person who does not think outside the box. Like Kesha said in her Tik Tok song "Wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy." Seriously?? Can you imagine waking up feeling like him? Your stock going up, your ciroc drink is the shit, your sean john clothing line doing well, like really??? I want to wake up feeling like P. Diddy more often than I would be like,"Hey you! Go to Juniors, get me some cheesecake and some coconut ciroc with some pineapple just."
Music is the gateway to our souls, so listening to it and relating to it always makes us feel better. This is music for the moment, that moment in which you are feeling some type of way and just want the music to explain how you are feeling.
You just got paid and your soupped and want to buy things
Money to Blow(Birdman)
You @ the club you bag like 5 numbers
P.I.M.P.(50 cent)
Fucked over by someone
On To The Next One(Jay Z)
Seriously why you in my way?
Move Bitch(Ludacris)
Deep stare into each others eyes,ready for the next step
Unthinkable(Alicia Keys)
Feeling like a baller(after your paycheck)out with girl at mall
Throw it in the bag REMIX (Fabolous)
Found that person that you only want
One Love(Trey Songz)
Leaving work on a Friday to start your weekend
All The Way Turnt Up(Roscoe Dash)
We have songs that we always associate with what’s going on around us ALL the time especially if you listen to a lot of music. This I believe shows how unique and strange some of us are. If you don't do this, well then you’re just a completely normal person who does not think outside the box. Like Kesha said in her Tik Tok song "Wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy." Seriously?? Can you imagine waking up feeling like him? Your stock going up, your ciroc drink is the shit, your sean john clothing line doing well, like really??? I want to wake up feeling like P. Diddy more often than I would be like,"Hey you! Go to Juniors, get me some cheesecake and some coconut ciroc with some pineapple just."
Music is the gateway to our souls, so listening to it and relating to it always makes us feel better. This is music for the moment, that moment in which you are feeling some type of way and just want the music to explain how you are feeling.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)