The Option (Part 2)

The 2nd part of this blog is basically going to touch on being the option to somebody.


Sometimes we never realize when we are the option to someone until its to late and they have used us up and thrown us to the side. Sometimes we fail to take all the signs into consideration that we are the option to somebody when we have made them our priority. We haven’t learned enough or experienced enough to know the signs when we are being used and being 2nd best to someone else.

What do you do when you find out you’re the option to somebody? You can either 1. Tell them how you feel about it 2. Consider being the option or 3. Fall back from them entirely. If you know your worth then you know that you shouldn’t be someone options, or side piece. If they want to make you their option number 2 maybe its time for you to get up and reevaluate why your still around them.

"Never make someone your priority when your only there option"

The Option (Part 1)

I know that everyone has experienced of either being an option or having options. This topic will just touch on having options in your life. 

Sometimes when people go through certain things in their lives they always want to have a backup plan. For example, Job number 1 is not providing enough money guess I am gonna go to job number 2 and see if that offers me more. This is called having an option. When it comes to relationships and people in general some people think it’s good to have options, while others hate to be considered an option. This topic basically will touch on having options while part 2 will touch on being an option.

I feel that everyone starts to develop the tendency of having options when something bad happens to them in a relationship or someone used them as an option. Better to be safe than sorry right? Why not have a bunch of options just in case option numbers 1-3 can’t meet up or do what you want them to. At least you got option number 4 right? Some people feel as though having back up plans is great but what happens when options get attached? Or start playing the “Claim Game”? (Refer to Nov 5, 2010 topic if you don’t know what the “Claim Game” is) What is the next step for you?

Most times when options get attached, first step is usually to cut them off especially if you’re not feeling the same way. Saves you from drama and problems, but what if you start getting feelings for an option then what’s the next step? Do you see where it goes and drop your other options? Do you stop playing games and get serious? Only you will know. We actually live in a day an age where people have many options and are not tied down to one person. Everyone is trying to enjoy their lives with as many experiences as possible. Think about it though, if you get attached to an option and they get attached to you, maybe it’s time to give up the games and see what might happen.

Marvins Room Syndrome

So another day another situation . . . you ever get one of those text messages or phone calls from that one person in your past and it just blows your mind? Or have you been one of those people that sent one of those crazy text messages to someone you use to talk too just because? We all have those situations where either we drink too much and just say fuck it and get in contact with them or we just lost in thought and vent. Every time I hear Drakes Marvins Room song I’m just sitting there like “You gotta be bold to do that” but everyone in some point in their life did it and always reflect on how stupid it was of them to do it.

One of those things that if you’re truly in love with someone and it ends up not working out you experienced it . . . if you haven’t you eventually will. An example of this is if you are chilling with some friends on a bus ride to go somewhere. You guys just start drinking on the bus and you put your headphones on and all you hear is just R&B music on every radio station that makes you catch feelings. Chris Brown, Alicia Keys, Avant, Marvin Gaye, Luthor Vandross, Jill Scott. You already feel nice and buzzed. You just get in a state that just like, “I miss him/her.” Then you text them “I miss you, I want to be with you right now” and this is when you have experienced that “Marvins Room Syndrome.”

Falling into the “Marvins Room Syndrome” is like walking back into your past and trying to fix whatever went wrong. 9.9 times out of 10 YOU know it won’t go back to the way it was before especially if they already moved on. It’s better to just move on and live life, then dwell in the past and try to fix a broken mirror because it will never be the same.


“ . . . let go when you’re hurting too much, give up when love isn’t enough, and move on when things aren’t like before. “

Are You Happy?

Sometimes we find ourselves at particular crossroads in our lives where we feel as though nothing is going right. Sometimes we converse with friends or family members to help us through these situations. Sometimes we allow others to break us down so we are never happy again, when we are suppose to define our own happiness. Is it human nature to allow others to break us or make us feel discouraged? Do we allow ourselves to be unhappy and take it out on the people around us?

I know a couple people that have let other people define their happiness. Like if they aren’t talking to someone, have a boyfriend/girlfriend or have someone that is always around to support them they feel as though there not happy at all. It’s like they need that cushion there just to know “Hey I will be alright, I have John here for me.” When in reality, you shouldn’t be allowing people to control how happy you are or happy you should be. I understand we do get happier when we have some people around but this shouldn’t have a general affect on how you feel and what you do in life. In most cases people who realize that they are letting others define their own happiness will push the people who care for them the most away. They push them away so they can work on being happy by themselves, but is that a good thing? People who constantly make time for you, that make you happy and are constantly there for you shouldn’t really be pushed away but in most cases they are. Sometimes they get the message and literally just fall all the way back from you never returning, and things never being the same again.

Point of the story is you define your own happiness, waiting for people to make you happy or rule how you feel shouldn’t be allowed.


“No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change.“ - Barbara de Angeli

The Selfish Thought . . .

DISCLAIMER: My random thoughts are not about anyone so please don’t come at me asking if this is about you. If you have a guilty concise maybe you should go do something about it :) that is all.


So occasionally I text a couple of my friends early morning and ask them random questions. One question that was brought up is “Are women more selfish then men when it comes to keeping people in their lives after something has changed in their relationship?” Out of the 10 people I have asked, they said that they feel that women are. Let me tell you the facts before you feel some type of way. 

Say you are chilling with one of your friends, you guys have been cool forever and then out of nowhere they do something or say something that hurts/disturbs your friendship with them. Some people immediately cut you off just because they feel as though they can’t value you as a friend anymore. Its certain things that you do to people that will piss them off and they will just entirely fallback from you. Guys are more likely to literally cut you off and won’t think twice about it. Girls on the other hand will still want you around because they feel as though nothing has changed but they are 100% wrong. It’s just like leading someone on to the point of no return and then just abruptly saying,” We can’t do this anymore, let’s just be friends.”

After 6+ months of putting work in for something and hearing that (let’s just be friends), guys really will THINK “WTF?! REALLY THOUGH?!” but say “okay I understand.” We immediately back off and keep it moving, we do get hurt and the only way to get over it is to get away from you. Sometimes though, girls move in closer thinking that things will stay the same and we can still do all the things we did before. NOOO. Once you put us on the sidelines best believe all the things we did to try and impress you will stop and we will treat you like any regular person. You have to understand we hate feeling like you just want us there to make you happy because we actually aren’t now that things are different.

“You never know how great something is until it isn’t around anymore, don’t take anything for granted”