Sunday, July 31, 2011

The Selfish Thought . . .

DISCLAIMER: My random thoughts are not about anyone so please don’t come at me asking if this is about you. If you have a guilty concise maybe you should go do something about it :) that is all.


So occasionally I text a couple of my friends early morning and ask them random questions. One question that was brought up is “Are women more selfish then men when it comes to keeping people in their lives after something has changed in their relationship?” Out of the 10 people I have asked, they said that they feel that women are. Let me tell you the facts before you feel some type of way. 

Say you are chilling with one of your friends, you guys have been cool forever and then out of nowhere they do something or say something that hurts/disturbs your friendship with them. Some people immediately cut you off just because they feel as though they can’t value you as a friend anymore. Its certain things that you do to people that will piss them off and they will just entirely fallback from you. Guys are more likely to literally cut you off and won’t think twice about it. Girls on the other hand will still want you around because they feel as though nothing has changed but they are 100% wrong. It’s just like leading someone on to the point of no return and then just abruptly saying,” We can’t do this anymore, let’s just be friends.”

After 6+ months of putting work in for something and hearing that (let’s just be friends), guys really will THINK “WTF?! REALLY THOUGH?!” but say “okay I understand.” We immediately back off and keep it moving, we do get hurt and the only way to get over it is to get away from you. Sometimes though, girls move in closer thinking that things will stay the same and we can still do all the things we did before. NOOO. Once you put us on the sidelines best believe all the things we did to try and impress you will stop and we will treat you like any regular person. You have to understand we hate feeling like you just want us there to make you happy because we actually aren’t now that things are different.

“You never know how great something is until it isn’t around anymore, don’t take anything for granted”

3 comments:

  1. Hmmm, my only question here is if this is in regards to just hurting the relationship because of an argument or if it's about the whole friend likes friend and the feeling isn't reciprocated thing. I def agree if it's the latter (in most situations) but, it its about about argument or something then I feel there's always a way to make up and keep the relationship intact. just my thoughts...

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  2. I am one of those people that don't believe that men and women can truly be platonic friends. Only if one of you are gay then yes. If I knew I was in a solid relationship with a guy where it is just about me and him then yes I would cut everyone off. Through the last year I have learned that there is an exception to the women and men friendship thing. I am/was involved with an individual that has many female friends. I know for a fact that on his part its truly just a friendship but I know females too. I am a female and I am one of many and in the heat of passion at the right moment we have no inhibitions, girl code or respect for another female and their "territory". In part, that would also depend on the maturity level of the female in question. Historically females are and have been made to just please a man. That in a way whether it is conscious or unconscious pleasing a man validates our femininity. So to the man that has all of these female friends they need to understand that those females are feeding off of your friendship whether than just being a friend. The male may not have any sexual tension with any of them but I promise you that the females do. So in the part of the female it is not a friendship, it is a conquest. Sorry if I digressed in anyway. But when a female is serious and found the "one" then everyone else is history. A true friend whether it be female or male should understand that you need time to flourish your new relationship with whoever you choose to be with.

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  3. @monica its its not in regard to friend likes friend and the feeling isnt reciprocated

    @anonymous i understand what you are saying. i guess its just the way the world works then.

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