Take One For The Team

So you are out with your crew and you are all having a great time. Then another group pops up of the opposite gender and you both have about the same number of people in the crew. They looking good, you guys are looking good, so the team makes a move. Everyone picks up on somebody but then you realize the one you got isn’t as pleasing to look at as the other ones. So what do you do? Take one for the team or quickly step away? You know if you step away the team might lose but if you take one for the team you might lose. What do you do?

We have all been in those situations where we literally had to “take one for the team” and it wasn’t the best thing ever. A situation I was put into is when I was with my boys in Miami, having a wonderful time. We was on the beach, had the music bumping, everyone trying to be around us. Three girls walked up on us and my boys pounced like lions trying to find they mate. I was left with the friend they just wanted to bring along. You know how I know she was the friend they really didn’t care about? It’s because she was wearing a 2 piece with a huge c-section scar and had the worst edges I have ever seen in my life. I had to make a life changing decision on if I would “take one for the team” or walk away from this situation. I raised my hands up, said “nope” and walked away. I would not be a victim of this “take one for the team” situation in Miami of all places. I am not the best looking dude in the world but I am acceptable to look at. Sadly she was not and I would not force myself to just sit there and entertain her. I used my “pass” for the year and I was fine with that.

What is the “pass” you ask . . . well it’s something me and a couple of my friends do. We are allowed only 1 pass for the year. Meaning if there are a group of girls and we don’t want to kick it to the one friend we just say “pass” and walk away. Not the best system but it works for us. If you have an understanding with your friends then you guys would have created a system that fits you when you need to be saved or you just want to walk away from a situation. Don’t act like you don’t. I’ve saved a couple of my female friends from dudes who were harassing them. They gave me that one look and I’d smooth walk over, grab her hand and walk off with her while the dude was looking. 

Remember to set some guidelines when it comes to “taking one for the team” because if this isn’t set then we all losing. Sometimes people don’t like being put in these situations but all you can do is live and learn.

Regret

As we look back at the people we've met and the things that we've done, why do we tend to regret? No reason to regret anything at all. It's something that we wanted to do and the people we wanted to meet. Maybe things go bad but it's an experience that we chose to move forward with. We can't say we have never learned anything from the experience, right? I feel like everything is placed in front of you for a reason, to either test how strong you are as a person or make you stronger as person. Nothing is ever easy in life and the experiences that we have in life we should never regret.

I was in a situation where I fell in love with my best friend. Not that I wasn't in love with her before but it was more then just a friendship love now. You would think that is the best person to fall in love with but when you are both just getting out of horrible relationships, it definitely isn't good. You both are just lost in your feelings trying to share them with anyone that comes around. Why not share them with the person closest to you? To make a long story short, her guy came back in the picture and I was left out on the corner. Did I regret that we fell for each other? Not at all. It was a great feeling. It just taught me, don't rush anything. Even with the people you trust the most. Life has a way of kicking you to the ground and bringing you back up later, by offering you some gummy bears then knocking them out of your hand. It's always a bumpy road but once you start regretting things then you will never learn.

You are always put in situations that you want to regret the people you met or the situations you are put in. Just live your life, move forward and enjoy every moment. Just create memories that you can look back and say " oh yeah I remember when I did that" and not " I wish I could have done that." You will never know what will happen and how happy you will be later. It's all about the experiences.

"Life is too short to worry about stupid things. Fall madly in love, live to the limit, laugh until it hurts and have no regrets because everything happens for a reason."

#SummerBoo

As the summer draws to a close lets start to thank our summer boo’s for the roles they have played in making sure we had an enjoyable summer. Lets be real, if you are single you had a “Summer Boo”. Someone that you could take places with you, if you didn’t want to go alone. You didn’t consider them a summer boo, you probably just considered them a real good friend. Some people got out relationships right before the summer just so they could have fun for the summer. People don’t get that they are just the summer boo, the temporary fling that people want for the summer. The summer is when people have the most time to do anything and are free, so why not have a summer boo right?

I classify the summer boo as just a temporary person that is around for the summer that you don’t really see yourself with. Sometimes you can under certain circumstances but that is very slim. You already know who you want before you have a summer boo but you get one just because everyone is doing there own thing for the summer. Yes a summer boo can turn into a potential but during the summer people don’t want to be tied down. Why be tied down when you can just have fun? As humans we don’t like doing things alone and when we see couples we are just like “I wish I could have someone to do things with to.” It doesn’t have to be anything physical more so like adventures. Lets go on vacation together or try something new that we have never tried. Don’t forget people catch feelings sometimes. You have to be clear with people so they don’t hurt. Sometimes we don’t care about people’s feelings but you can’t damage friendships for a summer of fun.

As long as you keep a boundary and make it clear what is going on, you won’t lose people. If you don’t someone always gets hurt. As the summer ends don’t forget to come back to reality and remember that it is only for a season. A seasonal lover is never good to have but just someone to experience a good time with isn’t that bad. As long as you are happy that’s all that matters.

“Life is a game. You have to play it your way or people will make you follow their ways”

The Girl with the THOT Tattoo

This is not a generalization, this in reference to both male and female.

This word THOT has literally come out of nowhere and I really hate it but I use it. I really hate the word but it is so catchy and its get the point across.  People really don’t take offense to this word. If I was to call you a HO you would be so upset but if I called you a THOT you would kind of giggle and say, “ No I am not”.  Lets rewind and go back to what the word THOT means.

THOT = That Hoe Over There

This word makes me so angry sometimes because people really use this in a full sentence. The abbreviations make sense but when you really think about it, you just tell yourself you sound so stupid. For example, “Hey bruh why are you being such a THOT for?”  Now in proper English,” Hey brother why are you such a “that hoe over there” for?” Instead of just using the word hoe we just use the word thot so it won’t be as harmful? It confuses me. When a word becomes mainstream and shared on social media networks it becomes a “real” word that is recycled repeatedly. I actually did an experiment of calling people thot’s and honestly they didn’t get mad. They just looked at me and started laughing. People really don’t consider it a harmless word at all.

Words shouldn’t really harm you but it’s just the words that our generation is creating, no real thought goes into them. I understand it may have come from a rapper or something but still, we don’t have to repeat words that we hear. The thing with humans is that once we hear a catchy word it is stuck in our heads. It’s literally like a tattoo that we can’t get off. 

The Single/Co-Parent Situation

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I just want to take the time out to s/o those individuals who are parents just because it is not an easy job at all. Your life revolves around your kid(s) and if they are not happy, you’re not happy. I know a lot of great people that are single parents and honestly think they are doing a wonderful job. As I get older I realize that once you have a new responsibility added to your life, you do your best to adjust. Sometimes it isn’t easy and you always hit bumps in the road, but you push yourself through them. Most of the things I write about I have experienced or know people who have experienced them.

My friends know that I attract single moms, I don’t mind it but it’s like why are there so many single parents? Lets face the facts; some people are not ready for new responsibilities. Yes, having a child is a new responsibility that you accepted once you decided to have unprotected sex. Sometimes people make mistakes but having a child is not a mistake. I was having a talk with one of my friends and the other person said the child was a mistake. They did not want to be involved in the child’s life at all. Nothing is ever a mistake, things happen for a reason. Some things in life you aren’t ready for but you try to make the best of it. People think that most single parents are females but no there are guys that are single parents as well. Odd? I know someone who is a great parent. He raises his daughter like a queen, teaches her about life, what to expect from men and encourages her to be great. Overall I let him know that he is a great father and he inspires me to be like him.

The co-parent situation to me is kind of confusing. It’s like both parents are around but one isn’t around as often, just available on the weekends or special occasions. Under certain circumstances I understand that it happens because of many factors but still certain situations I am just like “cut this person off please”. The only reason I say that is because the other person seems like they don’t want that much involvement in the child(s) life at all. For example, say you had a one-night stand with someone, you have a kid and now you’re a parent. You both come to an agreement you will co-parent and be around. The child is mostly with you and the other parent has the child every other week. The other parent starts a family and has a new kid and doesn’t want to be involved as much. Now what? I commend those people who are able to handle situations like this. As long as you are setting a positive example for your child, I don’t see a big deal with it. Things happen in life that we can’t control we just need to push forward and be great.

No matter if you are a single parent, co-parent or parent new responsibilities arise everyday. You have to be willing to grow and change as a person to encounter them. You may not hear this all the time but I think you are doing a great job. Continue being great and encouraging your child to be great.

“Nothing is ever wrong. We learn from every step we take. Whatever you did today was the way it was meant to be. Be proud of you.”