Ex-Lover Turnt Best Friend

To build off my last post something that was said by his ex was that my friend was having relations with his female best friend. A lot of time it has to deal with insecurities if it’s brought up A LOT and it may also show a lack of trust in the relationship. This was a false statement and assumptions are always made when your best friend is someone of the opposite sex. My best friend is a female and I look at her as my little sister so I definitely would never think of her in a sexual way. This got me thinking could you be best friends with someone you were intimate with in your past?

From my many group chats I asked this question and got a million different answers. I personally think you can be, as long as boundaries are set. If boundaries aren’t set then people fill they are capable of jumping right back into the fold. Wait a minute though what if you jump into a relationship and find out they had relations in the past with this so called “best friend?” Now this is a tougher one because they’ve already established a bond of friendship and that’s what you’re trying to do. The responses I received from guys and girls was extremely interesting.

Girls: That’s not his best friend anymore I am his best friend

Guys: I can no longer date her knowing that her best friend has had what I am having now.

. . .but if they had the best friend

Girls: Out of respect for my relationship I would let my best friend know what it is as far as our friendship. A lot of space will be required from him if he respects my relationship and friendship.

Guys: Boundaries would have to be set, even though I know I don’t want that old thing back, respecting the person I am with is key.

Generally I posted the most common answers but I think it is up to you as a couple to decide what you want to do. Jealousy is a hell of a drug and to let past actions ruin your future endeavors won’t let you grow as an individual. Life happens sometimes and all we can do is move forward. The real question is can an Ex-Lover really be your best friend? It’s really hard to say but just take it this way it will feel like having a 3^rd wheel in your relationship all the time. Especially if your significant other hasn’t put a “friendly” distance between the present relationship and the past relationship.

"You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one"