Another week another problem, as we all get older we deal with a situation where we get hurt or have problems and communication between you and someone else gets effected. In the past week I have seen at least 8-10 twitter/facebook status that says something like “ I’m trying to let go but it’s so hard I miss him/her so much” or “ I might hold on to this feeling just because I miss him/her.” Some would say it’s better to hold on because letting go hurts to much, is this true? Yes and No for many different reasons.
Yes because you can hold that perfect feeling of happiness for a good while so you don’t get depressed and get all gloomy. No because it isn’t healthy and you scare off people who would treat you 10x better then the last person. Sometimes we hold on for the wrong reasons, like they are going to come back in to our lives after they decided to leave. That happens 9.5 times out of 10, very slim chance that people realize their mistakes and lose the best thing that ever happened to them. These people always regret their decisions but all you can do is let go and move on, there is something better at the end of the yellow brick road and I’m not talking about OZ. We always find happiness when we least expect it especially if we let go of our past, move on and open our eyes.
Fact it’s harder for woman to move on and let go then it is for guys.
Women have so much more emotions and feelings then guys so they really get attached after some time of being with someone. I know of 3 females at the moment who after 1+ year are still attached to someone who they use to talk to or go out with. I tell them everyday let go, move on, do you because at the moment he doesn’t care about you don’t think he does. He has moved on and let go of his past so he could have a better future. You set yourself up for failure sometimes when you don’t let go and can’t talk to anyone else. You wonder what that person is doing, who they talking to now, where they at . . . . . . .you start to build stalker tendencies and that really isn't cool. If you need closure to let go contact the person now, send them a letter and get your closure. If you have already received closure and are still hanging on to them while they out doing their own thing then maybe you need a friend who will smack you straight? Just a suggestion, but you are missing out on a lot of things if you are not able to let go and move on, people always regret that they didn’t let go at the right time and miss the best thing that could have ever happened to them.
“When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” – Alexander Graham Bell
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Why are Guys Afraid to Show Their Feelings (Topic suggested by Anonymous Female)
Girl: Girls want to feel beautiful and special
Guy: I’m not nice like that to anyone
Girl: I’m not just anyone
This conversation ended with them breaking up and ending their on and off relationship of 3.5+ years. She felt as though the guy really didn’t show his feelings for her at all. There is always something in the beginning but as the relationship went on, it was inconsistent and he treated her like another person. No affection, no attention . . . nothing at all, she felt neglected. The next question she asked me was,” Why are guys afraid to show their feelings?”
It’s not that I am stumped with this question it’s just that, to be honest we are afraid of the feedback we will get from you and we aren’t comfortable showing our feelings (some of us). With females it’s always something different, its either you want more of something or you don’t get enough of something, best thing for you to do is “COMMUNICATE.” To be honest you have to tell us shit so we better understand what’s up with you and your feelings. If we could read women’s minds then this world would be great , we would know when it’s that time of the month, know if we miss an anniversary (since you guys remember all of them), know what we are suppose to say or do when you are going through things. You have to understand if you communicate to us that “I love a guy who shows me there true feelings” then you will get what you asked for. Don’t ask for something and then when you’re constantly receiving it you say “You are doing a little too much opening up.” It’s either one or the other, make up your mind.
We are afraid of the feedback that we will receive from a female if we open up to them to much about our feelings. The thing that goes through our minds is, “She will like me less” or “She thinks I’m a bitch” or “She doesn’t want a guy this opened”. For a guy to open up it takes a lot of built up trust and the way he feels about you, for him to come out his shell. When he does open up and tells you everything, you better believe that he will continue to tell you EVERYTHING cause he confides in you and see’s you as someone special in his life. From this point on you have to understand though, you have to tell him when it’s too much or not enough; we need constructive feedback to better ourselves in showing our feelings.
I confide in 5 females at the moment because they have earned my trust and I love them. It’s not that we are afraid to show our feelings we just need the green light and a GPS to guide us on our way to expressing them.
Guy: I’m not nice like that to anyone
Girl: I’m not just anyone
This conversation ended with them breaking up and ending their on and off relationship of 3.5+ years. She felt as though the guy really didn’t show his feelings for her at all. There is always something in the beginning but as the relationship went on, it was inconsistent and he treated her like another person. No affection, no attention . . . nothing at all, she felt neglected. The next question she asked me was,” Why are guys afraid to show their feelings?”
It’s not that I am stumped with this question it’s just that, to be honest we are afraid of the feedback we will get from you and we aren’t comfortable showing our feelings (some of us). With females it’s always something different, its either you want more of something or you don’t get enough of something, best thing for you to do is “COMMUNICATE.” To be honest you have to tell us shit so we better understand what’s up with you and your feelings. If we could read women’s minds then this world would be great , we would know when it’s that time of the month, know if we miss an anniversary (since you guys remember all of them), know what we are suppose to say or do when you are going through things. You have to understand if you communicate to us that “I love a guy who shows me there true feelings” then you will get what you asked for. Don’t ask for something and then when you’re constantly receiving it you say “You are doing a little too much opening up.” It’s either one or the other, make up your mind.
We are afraid of the feedback that we will receive from a female if we open up to them to much about our feelings. The thing that goes through our minds is, “She will like me less” or “She thinks I’m a bitch” or “She doesn’t want a guy this opened”. For a guy to open up it takes a lot of built up trust and the way he feels about you, for him to come out his shell. When he does open up and tells you everything, you better believe that he will continue to tell you EVERYTHING cause he confides in you and see’s you as someone special in his life. From this point on you have to understand though, you have to tell him when it’s too much or not enough; we need constructive feedback to better ourselves in showing our feelings.
I confide in 5 females at the moment because they have earned my trust and I love them. It’s not that we are afraid to show our feelings we just need the green light and a GPS to guide us on our way to expressing them.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Commitment
Commitment [kuh-mit-muht] noun. 1. The act of committing 2. The state of being committed 3. The act of committing, pledging, or engaging oneself 4. A pledge or promise
Is it me or is everyone afraid to hear this word? People are afraid to be committed to anything anymore, whether it is friends, family, projects, school, girlfriend, boyfriend etc. As I was reading one of my brothers passage’s from his book, The Love of Poem: Vol 1, it inspired me to write this part of my blog talking about it. The passage stats, "Commitment causes everyone to feel special and adored, Gives a person with no desire a reason to fight for." For those who are open minded really read that and you will understand it. It took my sister 2 hours before she really understood that but, why are people afraid of commitment?
The fear of being committed to someone or something is just that people don’t like being tied down. They feel if they are committed then they will have to be tied down under lock and key and can’t do anything that they want. This is the major concern of a lot of people. They want to be able to do THEM without restrictions or limitations. This is the most common reason people are afraid of commitment and why they think they don’t need to commit to anything.
The beautiful thing about commitment though is that you feel that you are about to start the greatest journey in the world. That nothing in the universe can stop you and that you don’t need to answer WHY you did something to a million people. It really gives you a reason to push forward and make something worth it. “I know why I committed to this and I am ecstatic I did it.” When committing to something, think about the positive aspects of it and not so much the negative. I bet you 9 times out of 10 that the positive outweighs the negative.
Live. Laugh. Love
The Love of Poem: Vol I (By Desmond Baker)
Saturday, January 1, 2011
7 Things You Need To Do For 2011 (Step Your Life UP!!)
Happy New Years to all, I hope everyone had a safe holiday and a great New Years Eve. Well my first topic of the New Year is pretty much self explanatory, “Step your life up in 2011.” For those who don’t understand let me put this into perspective for you. The things you did in 2010 you are going to have to “change up” what you do because trust me, people either hate it or you just need to build off of it and make it better. A list of things that people need to start doing as we go into 2011 is:
1. If your facebook name is Shaquana “MyShitIsGood” Smith or Tim “IWannaBeInYou” Thomas or Samantha “CumGetIt” Davids or MydickbIG Keith . . . if it is referring to any type of sexual thing please stop, you are not 12 years old anymore and this isn’t MySpace. If you want to do that shit go back to high school, recreate your MySpace and do it.
2. Appreciate the people around you; they exist for a reason. Try to reconnect with certain people who have great qualities and aren’t holding you back. Those people who haven’t been doing anything with their lives since 2006, sad to say cut them off and move on.
3. Don’t post your whole life on facebook/twitter for the world to see, and then you wonder why people are all in your business. Stop updating your status every 2 seconds with stupid shit like “I’m going to the mall to get some new panties for my sexy night with my man,” “Oh shit I just got into a car accident ima post a picture in a second,” “This chick that hit me got a fake Gucci bag, I can tell from the symbols on it #KanyeShrug”. . . STOP IT, just stop we don’t care.
4. Communication goes 2 ways if you haven’t heard from someone in awhile maybe you should hit them up and see how there life is going.
5. You can’t be nice to everyone time to set the ground rules and tell people to go fuck themselves, especially if they “need” you for something. This is how people take advantage of you tell them to go . . . . kill themselves :)
6. Stop the high school games when it comes to a relationship, its either you want the person or you don’t. Time is wasted when you play games all the time and people hate it with a passion grow up and be thankful someone is interested in you.
7. Be honest to yourself and build on you before trying to build on someone else. The person that needs the most work is you, if you can’t define who you are as a person; don’t let someone else do it. YOU have to be happy before you can make someone else happy.
That is pretty much it, the 7 things you need to do to step your life up in 2011. Please, Please, PLEASE! Call, text, bbm, IM a couple people and just say thank you for being there and I appreciate you in my life. That is all I ask this will be a stepping stone year for everyone I hope you enjoy it. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
Live, Laugh, Love
1. If your facebook name is Shaquana “MyShitIsGood” Smith or Tim “IWannaBeInYou” Thomas or Samantha “CumGetIt” Davids or MydickbIG Keith . . . if it is referring to any type of sexual thing please stop, you are not 12 years old anymore and this isn’t MySpace. If you want to do that shit go back to high school, recreate your MySpace and do it.
2. Appreciate the people around you; they exist for a reason. Try to reconnect with certain people who have great qualities and aren’t holding you back. Those people who haven’t been doing anything with their lives since 2006, sad to say cut them off and move on.
3. Don’t post your whole life on facebook/twitter for the world to see, and then you wonder why people are all in your business. Stop updating your status every 2 seconds with stupid shit like “I’m going to the mall to get some new panties for my sexy night with my man,” “Oh shit I just got into a car accident ima post a picture in a second,” “This chick that hit me got a fake Gucci bag, I can tell from the symbols on it #KanyeShrug”. . . STOP IT, just stop we don’t care.
4. Communication goes 2 ways if you haven’t heard from someone in awhile maybe you should hit them up and see how there life is going.
5. You can’t be nice to everyone time to set the ground rules and tell people to go fuck themselves, especially if they “need” you for something. This is how people take advantage of you tell them to go . . . . kill themselves :)
6. Stop the high school games when it comes to a relationship, its either you want the person or you don’t. Time is wasted when you play games all the time and people hate it with a passion grow up and be thankful someone is interested in you.
7. Be honest to yourself and build on you before trying to build on someone else. The person that needs the most work is you, if you can’t define who you are as a person; don’t let someone else do it. YOU have to be happy before you can make someone else happy.
That is pretty much it, the 7 things you need to do to step your life up in 2011. Please, Please, PLEASE! Call, text, bbm, IM a couple people and just say thank you for being there and I appreciate you in my life. That is all I ask this will be a stepping stone year for everyone I hope you enjoy it. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
Live, Laugh, Love
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