Bite Your Tongue

Sometimes we are considered that “Friend With No Filter”(click to read topic) but sometimes I feel like if you bite your tongue you won’t be able to express what's really on your mind.  I feel like if we are friends/associates and you know what type of person I am, you should know I will be straightforward about my thoughts. We tend to hide what we are thinking in the fear of hurting someone’s feelings or just losing a friend. If you cant speak openly with people about the truth, then don’t speak about anything at all in my opinion.

This generation is stuck on social media communication and never being direct with there peers. Having a barrier between them and someone else, so they can get that sense of  “they won’t feel as hurt” or  “they wont take it that serious.” Biting your tongue will close a lot more doors then opening them but it will show you who appreciates your honesty. We always thing “oh shit they really said some hurtful shit to me” instead of “dam they really just told me some stuff about myself I didn’t even realize I was doing.” Speak your mind, let your thoughts flow and just be true to yourself. The people you surround yourself with should respect you for not biting your tongue and just being you.

The Claim Game (Part 2)

So we are back to this topic of the “Claim Game” (click onlink to read part 1).  This time I will be talking about a different aspect of the claim game. One that I know a couple of my friends are going through at the moment.

You know when you are interested in someone and you guys are talking back and forth for a good couple months. There is like an unofficial “your mine” type of stare that you give to each other, just saying you know what it is without either person actually saying something. Unofficially claiming the person but wanting it to be officially said. You guys do a lot of things in public, (kiss, hold hands, hug, etc.) but you still pass each other off as “just friends.” Then you ask yourself the question, “Why hasn’t he/she claimed me yet?”

Is it a fear of committing to one person? Fear of knowing you finally found someone good for you? Fear of your past catching up with you? Fear of people knowing you’re with someone? Fear of being tied down or maybe it’s just something we are just not ready for. Like I said in my previous blog, you never want to start claiming someone unless you are really serious about them. People will believe every word you say and run with it.

The “Claim Game” is basically giving someone a TITLE and hoping they act accordingly to the title that was given to them. Next time someone “Claims” you ask yourself “What have I done to allow them to give me a title and think that I am “CLAIMABLE?”

Things You Should Work On For 2013

It is now 2013 and all I’ve been hearing is “new year new me”. Ummm I am pretty sure you said that last year and the year before so please take a seat. I feel like if your going to say that make sure you prove that with actions. Words really don’t mean anything unless you can prove that you are going to change. The Things I feel everyone should work on for 2013 are evaluating your friend circles, trying to stay consistent, being more verbal, building on trust/loyalty and believing actions over words.

Evaluate Your Friend Circle

Some things I think everyone should work on for this year is evaluating their “friend” circle and eliminating those people who don’t bring value to there lives. Its cool to be surrounded by people but if they are not doing anything with there lives besides popping mollies and sweating, well then reevaluate your friendships. If you need to cut people off, cut them off immediately. You can't carry around dead weight forever.

Stay Consistent

Consistency should be another thing we work on. (Consistency in our work, with our friends, with our families and in every day life) When you are not consistent with things, they tend to fall apart quickly. Also try and be consistent with the people around you. We all hate having people who flip flop on things they say so try and prove to them why consistency works.

Be More Verbal

Verbal in the sense of communication, people who say nothing tend to end up with nothing. The best thing you can do is voice your opinion and be direct with people. Never try to sugar coat shit, just say what's on your mind. Mean what you say and say what you mean.

Build on Trust and Loyalty

In this day and age people really lack trust and loyalty to each other. It’s all about throwing someone under the bus. We should work on building on the trust and loyalty we have with the people that are close to us before searching for more people to include in our circles. People can say that they are loyal or you can trust them but words can only go so far. Build on what you already have before searching for anything new.

Believe Actions Over Words

Last thing is that people should not give words so much value unless they are backed up by actions. We tend to believe words just because of the person who is saying them but all in all if their actions don’t align with there words what's the point? Before you believe 100% of somebodies words make sure they have proven themselves to you with their actions. Actions should always tell you if someones words carry any weight to them.

"Nothing is predestined. The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings"-Ralph Blum

What If. . .(Part 2)

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It has been almost 2 years since my first blog (What If –Click here to read it) and I feel that I have evolved as an individual. I am still Kevin but I have learned so much from life. I don’t think about “what if” situations anymore because I feel those are really negative. It’s all about making “what if” situations a reality instead about wondering hopelessly.  

We can say we don’t like taking a risk but we can’t let our lives be defined by fears and “what if” situations. I feel that I have been the biggest risk taker, just because I like to live life. I take risks no matter the consequence, just to say, “yeah I did it.” The worst that could happen is that you hit a bump in the road and have to take a different route. Sometimes we get stuck in our heads wondering,” what if this doesn’t work out, what if this doesn’t go the way I want it to or what if I say something wrong” instead of just going with the flow and saying/doing what we want. When we start thinking “what if” then things fall apart and you start to question your actions whether good or bad.

Sometimes we look back on things we should have done instead of just moving forward, learning from them and creating a better version of ourselves. If we constantly look back at “what if” we can’t look forward and see “what will be.” Live life, take risks and don’t let “what if” situations define you.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the things you did" ~ Mark Twain

Do You Think About Me? / Reciprocation (Topic Chosen By Munchy)

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I’ve heard this question a lot as of late. To be honest I feel that you would know if someone was thinking about you at all, right? My thing is I only communicate with people who communicate with me or that cross my mind. A couple of my female friends feel that they have to ask the guy in there life, “do you think about me?” If you have to ask that question then there must be a real problem. I feel that actions speak louder then words and if someone thinks about you then most likely they will stay in contact with you or perform actions where you don’t have to ask that question.

If they are your boyfriend/girlfriend I would assume that it is normal to tell them that you think about him/her a lot. If you are just talking/getting to know each other it could be the same deal depending on how far a long you guys are in your relationship. Just know if you are “talking/getting to know” someone that actions will show you if they are really thinking about you.

Think about this though, are actions always reciprocated?

For some of you that don’t know what reciprocation means, it’s defined as a mutual giving and receiving; a mutual exchange; a return in kind or of like value.  Basically are the actions that are performed reciprocated in a manor where you understand what direction the person wants to go with you? Based on communication, consistency and reciprocated things you should be able to figure out if you have to ask yourself this question. Instead of asking someone “do you think about me?” you should be asking yourself “has this person been consistent with me? Have they communicated with me clearly? Are things reciprocated?” 

Then you will be able to answer your own question.