Love Yourself (Part 2)

It is so important to love yourself before jumping into a relationship. Sometimes your past relationship teaches you about things you should and shouldn’t do in your future relationships. I’ve always been a creature of habit and investing 100% into someone. The reason for this is that I don’t want someone to doubt how I feel about them. Not saying it’s a bad thing but a lot of people can’t deal with it. They go from one toxic relationship to a very healthy one and it’s like a dream for them.  I’m a 90’s R&B love kind of guy and always treat the person as they should be treated.                                                                                                                   

    The question you should ask someone is ,”are you really ready for a relationship?” The only reason why is because people love the idea of a relationship but don’t really want one. They haven’t healed from the damage or the hurt from the past before trying to jump into something new. Some people don’t like to be alone and this is why they get into it with people. 

    I was in a situationship with someone who I thought really wanted to be with me. She was completely mental after I really thought about all the things I did for her. Went 6 months with us doing couple like things and the moment I asked her to be my girlfriend she said ,” you asked me the wrong way.” Being that I don’t like asking things twice I didn’t ask again because it was just weird. She then kept asking me to ask her again, I replied ,”I don’t feel like you want to be in a relationship with me.” She said she did but her actions led me to believe different. A couple months later that came to be true. She just wanted someone to be around when she wasn’t at work. Yes, it was wasted time but I learned so much about what to do and what not to do when talking with someone. It reminded me to trust the process and know that everyone is not for you. To string someone along because you aren’t sure is never right.  If you can’t properly love yourself you shouldn’t even try to entertain someone.

Love Yourself

I’ve received a lot of private messages regarding my topic Picture Not So Perfect (Part 2) and it prompted me to write this new topic. I think if you don’t set some priorities in your life then things can’t stay on track like you want them too. We are too busy doing for others but sometimes are you doing for yourself? My priorities have always been God (we aren’t on speaking terms at the moment), family, friends, girlfriend and others. The top 3 should always be priorities especially if you have a connection with God, you are close with your family and you have those loyal friends that are family. I love me way too much to let anyone break my momentum and keep me from being great.

At one point I found myself providing love to other people and not making sure that I even loved myself. I’ve lost people in my life because the love I provided them to stay afloat wasn’t the same love I was getting back in my time of need. It was all take and take and take, never “Hey Kevin I know you need a moment but take some of this love you provided me.” I was spiraling into a sink hole just not in love with the person I am. I am a sucker for caring too much and making sure everyone around me is good. It hit me that I wasn’t being appreciated for what I was still doing even though I was in a bad space. I had to remove myself from those situations. The worst thing about not loving yourself is that some people carry that with them into new friendships, relationships and life situations. 

Before adding things into your life make sure YOU are good. No matter what you are adding into your life it may feel good at first but if you haven’t put yourself in a positive space then you are constantly carrying that baggage around with you. You will constantly open that luggage and bring it into your current situation, when it has nothing to do with right now. You want to be at a point in your life where you aren’t carrying anything extra besides the love for yourself and your positive energy. If you are still holding on to things either let it go or don’t carry them into something new. Stop yourself from dragging the next person or group of people down because you don’t know how to let go and just heal.

Be selfish with you. Be selfish with your time. Be selfish with your love. You have to love yourself before you can begin to love another. You are the most important person in your life and you have to make sure you’re okay before allowing others into your space.

Do It For The Likes (Part 2)

Back to this topic “Do It For The Likes” because we are the generation of “likes”. The more likes you have, the more power you have? Nah people just like your stuff really. Do social media “likes” have any real value? Yes and No. It’s really up to us to determine how much power a social media “like” has over us but I think people don’t get that sometimes. If they don’t get enough likes on something over a 10 minute period they could just delete it because it didn’t do the numbers they wanted.

Talking in one of my group chats about things posted on social media and we talked about what things we see that people do for likes. I brought up the fact that most people don’t leave anything for the imagination as far as pics. The first image you see of someone you will just “assume” that they are something they are not. For example, if you are trying to get to know someone and you guys exchange IG names. The first picture you see is a half naked pic in the mirror, what will be your first assumption? This questions applies to both male and female. Yes we do have a lot of IG models out here but not everyone is an IG model, some people are just searching for approval or attention. My thing is when you finally get into something with this person will the first time seeing them this way really “wow” you like it did when you saw it on Instagram? 

Just a reminder, not everything should be shared on social media. Jobs are using social media before they hire some people and also people are losing their jobs because of social media. Is a “like” really worth it? Before doing it for the likes make sure you are not setting yourself up for failure. Not everything needs to be shared for likes. 

“I don’t broadcast every high and I don’t hide every low. I’m trying to live. I’m not trying to convince the world I have a life.”

Imperfections

So personally I think we are all perfect in our own way but it’s our imperfections that make us that way. We constantly think that our flaws are weaknesses that we need to get rid of but they are something that make us who we are. Over the years people have told me I am perfect, as far as me being driven, goal oriented and somewhat having my life together. Trust me my life isn’t together and I only let people see what I want them to see.

I am so flawed but I consider my flaws strengths that make me the person I am today. I never look down on someone because of something they feel is not perfect about themselves. I find this as a unique quality that makes them stand out from other people of the world. You never want someone that is the same as you will get bored fairly quickly. I am addicted to Haribo gummy bears, I randomly talk to myself, I am way too nice to people, I am not as fluent as I want to be in languages I want to speak and I am afraid of heights.  I have flaws that make me who I am and that make me different then the person next to me. I am like a puzzle with different pieces that make me different. I am my own person adding new pieces everyday to the individual I am, creating a new version everyday. 

When it comes to imperfections I would suggest to just accept them. They are that one thing that make you different from everyone else in this world. That random blemish or that different hair color makes you stand out in a crowd full of copies. My advice to you is to be as imperfect and random as possible because that is who you are. You are the only person that defines how you will live your life and you should live it the way you see fit. 

“A diamond with a flaw is worth more than a pebble without imperfections”