This Tea Though (3)

 Dating is such an interesting thing because it can go left very quickly without you even expecting it. You assume things are going to be flowers and happiness all the time but when it comes to dating it’s never that. A generation with so many options sometimes we are greedy and want everything instead of accepting what’s already present. An anonymous stranger, who let his guard down for a moment and life changed, shared this tea with me to share with my readers.

When we think we find a great person we never want to let them slip through our fingers. We literally have future talks with them about taking trips and enjoying life together. As we get older we realize we don’t want to be 40 and alone, still hitting those 21 and older clubs. When dating someone for more then 7+ months, talking everyday, spending time with each other, I feel like you both have an understanding. You didn’t go into this to waste time but ultimately that’s what happens.

So this guy (Guy A) went to a day party to go link up with his friend. His friend brought another guy (Guy B) who just moved to the town about 3 months ago. They’re exchanging information and then Guy B proceeds to say that his girl is coming to the day party. He said that they are moving in together and that she has been so great to him. A couple moments later the girl walks in and Guy A realizes that’s the girl that he has been talking to for the past couple months. He is completely crushed. The girl is in complete shock and doesn’t even know how to handle the situation. Guy A kept his composure and mentioned to Guy B that’s the girl that he has been talking to for the past couple months. Fast forward, after the entire situation the girl kept hitting Guy A’s phone to try and fix the issue that she caused. It was too late, as you publicly came out with someone and you are moving in with him (“was” moving in. Guy B dropped her after hearing that she had a Guy C). Crazy thing is that friends and family knew about Guy A and would constantly call him for things in regards to her. They didn’t know about Guy B (or Guy C).

If you have options just say you do. No one wants to spend time and put in all this effort with someone who has multiple people. Dating shouldn’t be a game and more value should be put into it. Situations like this make people don’t want to date anymore and just be alone. No one is perfect but wasted time is something we can never get back.

This Tea Though (2)

So I was reading this article about a 15 year old girl getting a train ran on her by 25 dudes from her school. If you don’t know what a train is please google it. My thing is that shit is wild to think that these kids from this generation have no boundaries on what they do. The other thing got me thinking about a chick I use to date that had a train ran on her. Before you judge me, let me spill some of this tea about myself for you

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Back in my younger years I was dating this girl that was pretty dope. I always do research when I get to know people. You know the normal background check like see if we have mutual friends, what can people tell me about her, google some information and stalk her social media sites for a bit. This time around I wanted to try something different. I wanted to just go with the flow and hope for the best. **PSA** Do your research in the beginning to save you the trouble.

I will have to tell you now that was the stupidest decision I made just because we were six months in and I wanted to make her my girlfriend. I went to ask my friends about her and they gave me the tea. Come to find out she had a couple trains ran on her and she was well known for her loose vagina. I was so hurt about all this new information I received. I felt so blindsided and thought she would have told me about this in the beginning. I mean she told me that she really liked sex and did some stuff in undergrad but c’mon tell me. It would have been good to know this information in the beginning so I could have walked away without wasting my time. Everyone is not perfect but you have to set some type of boundaries on the people you allow yourself to be with. I told her I needed a break to figure out some things. This is when she became clingy and wouldn’t stop blowing up my phone. This is when I quickly exited stage left and disappeared from her life forever. My fallback game is on superman levels, trust me. I could see you in public and act like you never existed.

Not shaming her or anything I am just giving you advice. Do your research before dating someone and ask all the questions. It’s better to know before you get involved with them and find out later. Knowing is better than not knowing and investing time only to lose it. I try not to spill tea on myself but sometimes it happens. 

“Your best teacher is your last mistake”

This Tea Though . . .

So let me share a story with you guys while sipping some of this tea I have over here. I always incorporate my friend’s lives into my blog. It doesn’t always make it about me but the people around me as well. One thing about me is that I don’t like when my friends introduce me to someone that they care about and this person does them dirty. Like I am happy when you guys are together but that moment you slip up, I don’t like you. We all don’t like you no more and then I will splash coconut oil in your eyes. I am just saying it’s just a thing to do when your friend gets hurt right?

I think for a relationship to be successful you need to be able to communicate, trust each other,  be able to give each other space (when needed) and know when you are wrong. You need a balance within your relationship to keep it stable. If it isn’t balanced then everything tends to tip over and crash horribly. With one of my good friends I noticed that something for him started to become unbalance. He was losing the communication in his relationship. With all my friends I try to stay neutral and understand things from both sides but when things are visibly consistent then I believe it’s a problem.

When your significant other goes on vacation/trip you have to think, “Okay they are having fun, let me not hit them up all crazy.” Humans go on vacation for a reason, to escape. We are not allowed a lot of time to escape so when we do just allow us and give us time. We will definitely contact you as soon as we can. Communication is still key because we all get into a routine of having something being available even when it is not. If something drops out of our routine we tend to think the worse.

Back to this story, yes my friend failed to communicate that he had returned home to his significant other. So it was understandable for her to get mad. The next course of action kind of made me mad because when you’re in a relationship you should try your best to try and resolve issues before they get any bigger. Her next course of action was to ignore him and remove him from social media like that would resolve the issue. As an adult I personally would stop talking to you and move on with my life but I told him to address it. He did, they talked about it and things went back on track.

Next thing that came out of balance was the trust in my opinion.  Everyone has holiday parties and have a great time with coworkers. You see people in another element when they are drunk, it’s very amusing. When you’re crossing boundaries with coworkers and it’s recorded for everyone to see, that is a huge problem to me. Just know whenever you are out you are being recorded or your just recording yourself and looking stupid. So she had a nice dress with a cut in the middle, kindof showing boobage. She is an excessive snapper (snapchat) so she has to snap everything which is fine but you can get yourself in trouble like that. So she is snapping with a dude all up in her breast area, face first. Look like he was motor boating honestly but as a good friend had to tell him. From my understanding A LOT of other people told him as well like “are ya still together “or “do you see what’s going on?” He felt like he was being played. He talked with her about it but it came off to her that she didn’t do anything that bad and she wasn’t wrong (she deleted the snap already but it was to late). When you can’t admit that you are wrong things can’t be fixed at all. So he had to end it with her.

They are no longer together but he likes to keep it cordial because of course he knew her for awhile, met her family and knows her friends. He did hit her up on her birthday to say “Happy birthday” but got a “who this?” text message. So he kept it pushing. Today he got a text saying “I miss my bestfriend” and me being the petty friend I am told him to respond with the following “SERVICE ERROR 409: THE NUMBER YOU ARE TRYING TO REACH IS NO LONGER IN SERVICE” so she would stop bothering him. The moment you respond to someone that says “I miss you” you won’t be able to move forward with life. It’s all about moving forward and living life with no regrets. You can’t have negative energy in your life especially if that energy doesn’t even know when they are wrong.

“Sorry, Not Sorry” – Kevin Pierre