When are you having kids?

The face I make every time I get asked this question. I get it I am getting older and time is ticking but you not going to ask me this question all the dam time. Why don’t you mind your business and step all the way out of my life. I feel like if you don’t know my life you shouldn’t ask me this question. I feel like people around my age or older/younger then me that already have kids always just ask me that. With my friends we always joke around like, “Yeah you’re next to get married” or “You’re having kids first” but that’s just something we do since we are getting older.Personally before anything I want to get married and then have kids. Not saying I don’t ever want to have kids just saying I want to get MARRIED first. One hurdle at a time because the moment you bring in new life into this world is the moment that everything changes.

Imagine having a child in your image. Feeding them, grooming them, making sure they know right from wrong, educating them and making sure that they are on the right path. That is a huge step to take and it should be planned out and not rushed.  I know no matter what I do in life that having kids will be the best experience in the world. My mom told me that she trust the decisions I make in life because she raised me right. When I have a child I want to be able to do the same thing for them. I don’t want them to regret anything in life and just want them to live it.

When are you going to get married? I think that’s a better question and I would just say, “You know it’s in the works.” That’s a planning process with your significant other just like having kids. Can I make sure my life is situated before I have kids? Can I be off child support with Sallie Mae before I have kids? I noticed with some people who have kids they always tend to regret the trips and adventures they didn’t take. I don’t want to be that person. Yes I love going on my adventures and trips but that doesn’t mean I am going to stop when I have kids. That just means I will have to include them in the fold. I think people should be more mindful of when they ask, “When are you having kids?” Only because you don’t know if someone isn’t able to create a child. Someone just doesn’t want to have children. They may have tried a number of times but have failed each time. You should also be mindful of when you ask someone “When are you going to get married?” They might not want to do that or they just haven’t been asked yet. You don’t really know what someone is going through to be asking personal life changing questions

When are you having kids Kevin? Honest answer is probably a couple months after I get married. I want to be in my own place and at least put a ring on her finger before anything. Everyone has a different answer for this but be mindful when you generally ask this question. Sometimes it can hurt the person more then you think.

“Life is a journey with problems to solve, lessons to learn, but most of all, experiences to enjoy”

Being Black in Corporate America

After graduating college I’ve had a couple jobs as both a contractor and a permanent employ, which turned out to be great experiences. I learned a lot from the environments I have been in and I know that it’s harder being Black in Corporate America. From experience you’re already at a disadvantage because of your skin color. They assume you really don’t know anything and they put you in a bucket of assumptions they created about black people. This bucket is just filled with society’s fears, feelings and thoughts about our community. So they throw the bucket on the table and start attaching these things immediately to you.

When you are educated it strikes fear in Corporate America because it lets them know that you really won’t take shit. I have been in a bunch of situations where I know more then the people I worked with but had to work twice as hard to get my point across. They may not go with my point but I never back down in letting them know why my point is more relevant then someone else’s. I stay professional as possible because the moment you break is the moment that they attach something from the bucket to you. The moment they label you as the angry black employee. 

The moment that you show that your a different breed of person is the moment that people feel scared. The moment that someone can’t have power over you because you have proven yourself and continue to prove yourself. I told one of my co-workers at my previous job that I had to work twice as hard as him to get where I needed to be. He told me it doesn’t make sense because they have rules against that. Yes some places have diversity programs but sometimes that is just a smokescreen to make it feel like they are handling the issue. It’s not obvious when it’s being done so rules may not apply to certain situations. 

Any time I get into a corporate environment I learn human resource policies and who exactly to talk to when situations arise. Personally I feel it’s good to know your environment and the laws of the land. This will prevent any situation getting out of hand. Corporate America is literally a cutthroat place for people of color in general because if you don’t fit a certain mold you can’t advance where you need to be. You may have 3 times the skills of someone else of non-color but that one mess up you did 2 years ago will hold you back from being great, over the 5 mess ups this person recently had.

What keeps me motivated is to keep pushing to be better then everyone around me. As long as you are killing them with a smile and kind words they will never have anything to say against you. Be as professional as possible and your time will come. Everything falls into place at the right time and people will acknowledge your greatness as soon as you save them from drowning. 

"Diversity is about all of us, and about us having to figure out how to walk through this world together" - Jacqueline Woodson

Love My Melanin

Melanin: The pigment that gives human skin, hair, and eyes their color. Dark-skinned people have more melanin in their skin than light-skinned people have. http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=4340

Honestly, I hate people who say they dislike their skin color or just anything about themselves. I understand that the world is crazy and that you are provided more privilege if your skin color is different but lets be serious. If you dislike something about yourself, like your skin color, that says a lot about you. You need to re-evaluate your life.

You are going to love my skin color and accept me for me. I love me enough to know that just because we are different, that we are still the same and that we are all human. With all the craziness happening in this world we need to sit down and make sure we love ourselves before we love another. They may hate our skin color but as long as you love it that’s all that matters. We are all created different and must accept the fact that we all live in this world. The fact that we can’t even coexist because of skin color still throws me for a loop. Just because I have more melanin then some people doesn’t mean you should hate me. Get to know me and you might realize we have a lot in common.

Before saying, “I hate the color of my skin” make sure that you don’t hate yourself. If you hate yourself, I will completely understand but if you don’t think about what you said. Sometimes we are put in situations where people make us feel ugly, hate ourselves, bully us because of the color of our skin. As long as you love yourself and know that you are the most incredible person in the world you will be fine. It’s more then what is on the surface but what's in your mind and how you view yourself.

“Love the skin you’re in”

Everything on FLEEK

-->

 

Honestly I have no idea where this word came from but people just started using it. You know when you hear something for the first time and you “act” like you know what it means until you figure it out. For a good month people would use this word and I am like “wtf, does this mean it’s dope, disgusting or something?” When I finally learned what it meant, I told myself I couldn’t use this word. I honestly think it is worse then using thot, only because thot has been used so much its stuck in my head. “On Fleek” means on point from my understanding. Like, “ Your shirt is on fleek” or “Eyebrows on fleek”. Lets give a moment of silence to the English language because we seem to create new words everyday.

Supposedly the word fleek started with some girl on vine talking about her eyebrows on fleek. Now people use this to describe every dam thing. At first it was okay but people use it on a daily basis. It has become extremely annoying, every picture is on fleek, and every meal is on fleek. Literally everything is on fleek. I believe in 5-10 years they might consider it a synonym to the word point “point, on point, fleek, on fleek.” At this rate they might as well because once celebrities start using certain words then it will blow up and everyone will use it. Then people will petition for it to be part of the dictionary. Then our kids will be asked to use the word in a sentence.

“I told the thot that my outfit was on fleek”

“The lunch lady made some taco’s that was on fleek”

“My eyebrows on fleek, just like my sister’s.”

I really think “eyebrows on fleek” is funny as shit though, I laugh everytime a someone says it. We sometimes forget that WE have the power to make something commercial or completely kill it. We are bigger then media and what ever we say they will fight so hard to be against it but will have to fold.  Our biggest weapon is social media and it allows us to express new things and share it with everybody. Rewind to 1990’s when social media was barely existent and the words that where popular during that time.

All that

All That and a bag of chips

Da Bomb

As if

Duh

Homeslice

Just to name a few, they don’t have the power of social media to keep them relevant and in use today. Be aware that the power we have as a collective is bigger then you think, and any word that is created will most likely carry on to future generations.

The Girl with the THOT Tattoo

This is not a generalization, this in reference to both male and female.

This word THOT has literally come out of nowhere and I really hate it but I use it. I really hate the word but it is so catchy and its get the point across.  People really don’t take offense to this word. If I was to call you a HO you would be so upset but if I called you a THOT you would kind of giggle and say, “ No I am not”.  Lets rewind and go back to what the word THOT means.

THOT = That Hoe Over There

This word makes me so angry sometimes because people really use this in a full sentence. The abbreviations make sense but when you really think about it, you just tell yourself you sound so stupid. For example, “Hey bruh why are you being such a THOT for?”  Now in proper English,” Hey brother why are you such a “that hoe over there” for?” Instead of just using the word hoe we just use the word thot so it won’t be as harmful? It confuses me. When a word becomes mainstream and shared on social media networks it becomes a “real” word that is recycled repeatedly. I actually did an experiment of calling people thot’s and honestly they didn’t get mad. They just looked at me and started laughing. People really don’t consider it a harmless word at all.

Words shouldn’t really harm you but it’s just the words that our generation is creating, no real thought goes into them. I understand it may have come from a rapper or something but still, we don’t have to repeat words that we hear. The thing with humans is that once we hear a catchy word it is stuck in our heads. It’s literally like a tattoo that we can’t get off. 

Growth

I feel if you don’t grow you don’t learn. Growth is all apart life and if you are the same person you were last year then nothing has changed.  People always complain that nothing has changed or nothing new is happening but have you pushed yourself to move forward and change? Are you waiting for someone to push you to change? It’s all about setting your own goals and moving forward.

Personally I feel like I have grown a lot in the past year. I push myself to be better than the Kevin I was yesterday. With friendships, relationships, career and just everything in my life. You can’t remain stagnant and hope things fall into place. I’ve lost friends, made new friends, declined career opportunities and accepted others. They say to be patient and wait for things but you can only wait so long before you just have to continue moving forward and not look back. This concept applies to everything in your life. The thing about moving forward is that you want to move forward. You’re not letting anyone hold you back. When you have people holding you back, you won’t ever get anything accomplished. Year after year you have to grow as a person in every aspect of your life if you want to be great. 

A question I was asked recently was, “Why do you keep your friend circle so small?” My response was, “If your irrelevant and serve no purpose in my life, why should I keep you around?” You have to remind yourself not everyone is about growth and will hinder your growth if they aren’t growing. It applies to your career as well, if you are okay with your current position and feel you have reached your limit for growth then you won’t move. If you reached your limit and feel you need to keep pushing you will look outside your current workplace. Growth is a part of life, it’s up to you if you want to continue growing and moving forward with anything in your life. 

“Life is about moving on, accepting changes and looking forward to what makes you stronger and more complete”

Long Back Shorty

So if you follow me on twitter you know I show love to different sized females. I love them all honestly but this topic will touch on something I discussed with this girl I took out. So we went out and I held the door open for her and followed her into the restaurant. She then said “You only held the door open for me to look at my ass.” I was so appalled by her statement. Why can’t I just hold the door open for you? The nicest thing to do, I would think. I told her next time she can open the door for herself and I will just close it behind me. 

Any way back to the topic, yes as a guy I won’t deny I will look at a girl’s ass. If you make it visible I will grade you. Just like girl’s grade guys on every little thing when they meet them. As a guy we are simple, “Oh how that ass looking? Can she dress? Is she clean? Cool we will figure out the rest moving forward.” Some guys might have different grading methods but those are the basics. The grading process between guys and girls will be another topic so let’s continue. No matter what we will take a glance and act like we didn’t, if you make it visible we will look. Now the shorty with the long back doesn’t have much of a chance in this game but she still get love. No matter if her back touches her ankles. If you trying too hard to have something you really don’t have its bad. Just accept what you have and move on.

I went to an event in the city a couple weeks ago and I saw someone with butt pads. She was throwing it back like it was hers but it did not fit her body. I asked her and she said that guys like girls with a fat ass so she decided to wear them. Do you think about what happens if you get a guy based off the butt pads or nah? Accept your long back and don’t care what people think.

“Love the life you live. Live the life you love”

Education. . .Career. . .Relationship

I have had a lot of conversations with different people on their views on these 3 topics. I brought up the idea you can only focus on 2 of these at a time and can’t have all 3. Not saying you can’t have all 3 but 2 of them will have your primary focus and the 3^rd will kind of just be in the back of your mind. More so if it happens, you will go with the flow of it.

No matter what one of these will be on hold or you will not pay that much attention to. The reasoning for that is either A) you already have it established and don’t need to work on it and/or B) you are just winging it and whatever falls into your plate you will deal with. The 2 focuses that most people start off with are education and career, then they end off with career and relationship. Which makes sense but others always find their own paths in life. 

I know people who have maintained these 3 items but it was difficult. When it comes to each one of them the main thing that applies is time. Time to study, do homework, graduate. Time to search for a job, edit your resume, interview. Time to show someone you appreciate them, dinner dates, see them. Each one of them comes down to the time that you have. If you have the time you can make it for all of these things. It is your choice to determine what road you want to take and whatever makes you feel comfortable. 

Review the things in your life and ask yourself “Have I ever successfully had all 3 items at one time?”

“It’s your road and yours alone, others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.”

(Poem) Random Guy

I randomly do things just because

Never needing a reason to make people smile

Yeah I’m that random guy

Randomly telling friends how much I appreciate them

Caring too much for the people closest to me

Never needing anything in return

I am that random guy

Randomly dragging people on adventures

Making sure everyone has a smile

Celebrating those people who deserve to be celebrated

Randomly loving the people around me

Experiencing life in a new light

To be random is to be different

Doing things “just because”

Just so everyone is wearing the same smile I’m wearing

Life is too short not to be happy

So why not share my happiness randomly?

The best happiness is the one that is never expected

From the people who appreciate you the most

Never needing a reason to be me and make people happy

I am that random guy

~Kevin Pierre

Social Media Diary

When it comes to venting our frustrations, telling someone how you feel about them or just speaking your mind about a bad situation in your life, where is the first place you go? Most people write down thoughts, some people meditate or they find someone to talk to. Others find a different median to vent and let all their frustrations out. This would be the social media networks we all have come to know and love.

Why is that we have to go to a social media site to vent our frustration? Is it that we think everyone cares? Do we think that these people will help us? Or are we only using this as a way to reach out to the real problem? Let’s be serious, no one cares about your frustrations or your problems. Some people will genuinely care but the other 98% don’t care at all. You are just pure entertainment for them, especially if you are one of those people that use social media as a diary. I know a couple people who spill all there problems on social media and I feel like I pretty much know there life because it’s laid out in front of me. If they have a problem with someone they would rather say something about the person on a social media (without disclosing their names) instead of talking to that person and resolving the issue. Has social media consumed our lives so much that we really don’t know how to communicate with people directly anymore? We would prefer to sub-tweet (via Twitter) or indirectly post a picture status (via Instagram) about them. Are we really incapable of settling things directly instead of indirectly?

With social media being a diary for some people I feel like I really know what’s going on in people’s lives. I know who hates there baby daddy, people who are no longer friends, people who use illegal substances and want to get caught by the cops, people who don’t have a jobs, what people do in their free time, who is part of the IG modeling service and the people who are ONLY twitter famous.

Even with the fact that I am very observant person, social media has really consumed our lives and I really don't care whats going on in your life EVERY SECOND of EVERY DAY. Yes its “social” media but c’mon let’s stop putting our whole lives in this social media diary. Let’s get back to human interaction and not waiting for a crowd of people to give you a million likes so you can tell someone to go fuck themselves.

Undeserving

So I’ve been talking to a couple people as of late and they all seem to say the same thing. They feel as though they are “undeserving” of what is given to them. They just feel that if they are treated “good” that it is too much and they don’t deserve it at the moment. When did this mentality of feeling “undeserving” start? Is it because we allow ourselves to be treated like crap all the time that when we are finally treated well it’s the wrong thing? Or is it cause we feel that someone has another agenda that the only reason they are treating us this way is because they want something?

            This can go either way for guys and girls because I feel that if you are being treated a certain way for the first time its like brand new to you. If its something good, you sometimes feel that it is too good and that you are “undeserving” of it. We are never satisfied with what we have and when we finally receive what we want or more we think that we don’t deserve it. What has brought us to this way of thinking? We sometimes let our friends “talk” in our ears influencing our decisions on what we deserve and what is considered “someone running game.”

            The truth is that this generation is confused about what they want and will think that everything they receive they aren’t ready for or undeserving. No one gets to where they are by thinking they are undeserving or not ready. You always have to check yourself so that you never do things for undeserving people or it will become an endless loop of never being happy. Even though you define your own happiness sometimes we allow other people to affect how happy we really are.

(Poem) Black Heart

 

Heading back into my cave

Detoxing from my feelings

Keeping my thoughts to myself

I’ve become heartless

That heartless monster I said I’d never become

With not one ounce of care

My heart is black

Sitting in my cave

Rewinding back

Back to where my heart was black

They say listen to your heart

But my heart is black

Building my walls back up

Letting go of the feelings I once had

It’s not you, its me

I am darker then usual

Leaving everything behind

Trying this new wave

Hoping that I stop losing and finally win one

Realizing that no one is ever ready

Ima take a step back

            And let my heart become black

They brought me up

            To the point where I was the happiest

Then let me go

            Like I was a seasonal fixture

No longer in my feelings

I rather my heart be black

Black without a care in the world

I’m done chasing “what ifs”

            And I’m letting go of “what could be”

I’m done appreciating those

            Who don’t appreciate me

I’m done caring too much

            And being the old me

I’m overdosing on this “ I don’t give a fuck” mentality”

Losing friends along the way but

            I’m on this new wave

Gone with the wind

            I’ve become this heartless monster

Letting go of the old me

            And embracing the new

I’ve allowed my heart to become black

With not once ounce of care

I’ve become this black-hearted monster

~Kevin Pierre

(Poem) Her

 

I told her, thank you

For just being her

The her of my dreams

The her I can feel comfortable with

The her that’s in my thinking thoughts

Not the her that’s an object

But the her that’s whole presence makes me smile

The her that is perfectly imperfect

The her that gave me the chance to be me

Cupid finally listened to this hopeless romantic

Letting me do me, and finally find her

You know her . . . the her of my dreams

Not the her that’s only here for a season

But the her that wants to go the distance

The her that accepts my flaws and my addictions

The her that I appreciate more then the stars in the sky

No longer stuck in an endless loop of confusion

Because her actions give me reason not to

Trusting her with all of me

Because her hands wont let me go.

If I had a her

I would tell her, thank you

For just being her

The her of my dreams

~Kevin Pierre

The Claim Game (Part 2)

So we are back to this topic of the “Claim Game” (click onlink to read part 1).  This time I will be talking about a different aspect of the claim game. One that I know a couple of my friends are going through at the moment.

You know when you are interested in someone and you guys are talking back and forth for a good couple months. There is like an unofficial “your mine” type of stare that you give to each other, just saying you know what it is without either person actually saying something. Unofficially claiming the person but wanting it to be officially said. You guys do a lot of things in public, (kiss, hold hands, hug, etc.) but you still pass each other off as “just friends.” Then you ask yourself the question, “Why hasn’t he/she claimed me yet?”

Is it a fear of committing to one person? Fear of knowing you finally found someone good for you? Fear of your past catching up with you? Fear of people knowing you’re with someone? Fear of being tied down or maybe it’s just something we are just not ready for. Like I said in my previous blog, you never want to start claiming someone unless you are really serious about them. People will believe every word you say and run with it.

The “Claim Game” is basically giving someone a TITLE and hoping they act accordingly to the title that was given to them. Next time someone “Claims” you ask yourself “What have I done to allow them to give me a title and think that I am “CLAIMABLE?”

What If. . .(Part 2)

-->

It has been almost 2 years since my first blog (What If –Click here to read it) and I feel that I have evolved as an individual. I am still Kevin but I have learned so much from life. I don’t think about “what if” situations anymore because I feel those are really negative. It’s all about making “what if” situations a reality instead about wondering hopelessly.  

We can say we don’t like taking a risk but we can’t let our lives be defined by fears and “what if” situations. I feel that I have been the biggest risk taker, just because I like to live life. I take risks no matter the consequence, just to say, “yeah I did it.” The worst that could happen is that you hit a bump in the road and have to take a different route. Sometimes we get stuck in our heads wondering,” what if this doesn’t work out, what if this doesn’t go the way I want it to or what if I say something wrong” instead of just going with the flow and saying/doing what we want. When we start thinking “what if” then things fall apart and you start to question your actions whether good or bad.

Sometimes we look back on things we should have done instead of just moving forward, learning from them and creating a better version of ourselves. If we constantly look back at “what if” we can’t look forward and see “what will be.” Live life, take risks and don’t let “what if” situations define you.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the things you did" ~ Mark Twain

Do You Think About Me? / Reciprocation (Topic Chosen By Munchy)

-->

I’ve heard this question a lot as of late. To be honest I feel that you would know if someone was thinking about you at all, right? My thing is I only communicate with people who communicate with me or that cross my mind. A couple of my female friends feel that they have to ask the guy in there life, “do you think about me?” If you have to ask that question then there must be a real problem. I feel that actions speak louder then words and if someone thinks about you then most likely they will stay in contact with you or perform actions where you don’t have to ask that question.

If they are your boyfriend/girlfriend I would assume that it is normal to tell them that you think about him/her a lot. If you are just talking/getting to know each other it could be the same deal depending on how far a long you guys are in your relationship. Just know if you are “talking/getting to know” someone that actions will show you if they are really thinking about you.

Think about this though, are actions always reciprocated?

For some of you that don’t know what reciprocation means, it’s defined as a mutual giving and receiving; a mutual exchange; a return in kind or of like value.  Basically are the actions that are performed reciprocated in a manor where you understand what direction the person wants to go with you? Based on communication, consistency and reciprocated things you should be able to figure out if you have to ask yourself this question. Instead of asking someone “do you think about me?” you should be asking yourself “has this person been consistent with me? Have they communicated with me clearly? Are things reciprocated?” 

Then you will be able to answer your own question.