#SummerBoo

As the summer draws to a close lets start to thank our summer boo’s for the roles they have played in making sure we had an enjoyable summer. Lets be real, if you are single you had a “Summer Boo”. Someone that you could take places with you, if you didn’t want to go alone. You didn’t consider them a summer boo, you probably just considered them a real good friend. Some people got out relationships right before the summer just so they could have fun for the summer. People don’t get that they are just the summer boo, the temporary fling that people want for the summer. The summer is when people have the most time to do anything and are free, so why not have a summer boo right?

I classify the summer boo as just a temporary person that is around for the summer that you don’t really see yourself with. Sometimes you can under certain circumstances but that is very slim. You already know who you want before you have a summer boo but you get one just because everyone is doing there own thing for the summer. Yes a summer boo can turn into a potential but during the summer people don’t want to be tied down. Why be tied down when you can just have fun? As humans we don’t like doing things alone and when we see couples we are just like “I wish I could have someone to do things with to.” It doesn’t have to be anything physical more so like adventures. Lets go on vacation together or try something new that we have never tried. Don’t forget people catch feelings sometimes. You have to be clear with people so they don’t hurt. Sometimes we don’t care about people’s feelings but you can’t damage friendships for a summer of fun.

As long as you keep a boundary and make it clear what is going on, you won’t lose people. If you don’t someone always gets hurt. As the summer ends don’t forget to come back to reality and remember that it is only for a season. A seasonal lover is never good to have but just someone to experience a good time with isn’t that bad. As long as you are happy that’s all that matters.

“Life is a game. You have to play it your way or people will make you follow their ways”

The Girl with the THOT Tattoo

This is not a generalization, this in reference to both male and female.

This word THOT has literally come out of nowhere and I really hate it but I use it. I really hate the word but it is so catchy and its get the point across.  People really don’t take offense to this word. If I was to call you a HO you would be so upset but if I called you a THOT you would kind of giggle and say, “ No I am not”.  Lets rewind and go back to what the word THOT means.

THOT = That Hoe Over There

This word makes me so angry sometimes because people really use this in a full sentence. The abbreviations make sense but when you really think about it, you just tell yourself you sound so stupid. For example, “Hey bruh why are you being such a THOT for?”  Now in proper English,” Hey brother why are you such a “that hoe over there” for?” Instead of just using the word hoe we just use the word thot so it won’t be as harmful? It confuses me. When a word becomes mainstream and shared on social media networks it becomes a “real” word that is recycled repeatedly. I actually did an experiment of calling people thot’s and honestly they didn’t get mad. They just looked at me and started laughing. People really don’t consider it a harmless word at all.

Words shouldn’t really harm you but it’s just the words that our generation is creating, no real thought goes into them. I understand it may have come from a rapper or something but still, we don’t have to repeat words that we hear. The thing with humans is that once we hear a catchy word it is stuck in our heads. It’s literally like a tattoo that we can’t get off. 

The Single/Co-Parent Situation

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I just want to take the time out to s/o those individuals who are parents just because it is not an easy job at all. Your life revolves around your kid(s) and if they are not happy, you’re not happy. I know a lot of great people that are single parents and honestly think they are doing a wonderful job. As I get older I realize that once you have a new responsibility added to your life, you do your best to adjust. Sometimes it isn’t easy and you always hit bumps in the road, but you push yourself through them. Most of the things I write about I have experienced or know people who have experienced them.

My friends know that I attract single moms, I don’t mind it but it’s like why are there so many single parents? Lets face the facts; some people are not ready for new responsibilities. Yes, having a child is a new responsibility that you accepted once you decided to have unprotected sex. Sometimes people make mistakes but having a child is not a mistake. I was having a talk with one of my friends and the other person said the child was a mistake. They did not want to be involved in the child’s life at all. Nothing is ever a mistake, things happen for a reason. Some things in life you aren’t ready for but you try to make the best of it. People think that most single parents are females but no there are guys that are single parents as well. Odd? I know someone who is a great parent. He raises his daughter like a queen, teaches her about life, what to expect from men and encourages her to be great. Overall I let him know that he is a great father and he inspires me to be like him.

The co-parent situation to me is kind of confusing. It’s like both parents are around but one isn’t around as often, just available on the weekends or special occasions. Under certain circumstances I understand that it happens because of many factors but still certain situations I am just like “cut this person off please”. The only reason I say that is because the other person seems like they don’t want that much involvement in the child(s) life at all. For example, say you had a one-night stand with someone, you have a kid and now you’re a parent. You both come to an agreement you will co-parent and be around. The child is mostly with you and the other parent has the child every other week. The other parent starts a family and has a new kid and doesn’t want to be involved as much. Now what? I commend those people who are able to handle situations like this. As long as you are setting a positive example for your child, I don’t see a big deal with it. Things happen in life that we can’t control we just need to push forward and be great.

No matter if you are a single parent, co-parent or parent new responsibilities arise everyday. You have to be willing to grow and change as a person to encounter them. You may not hear this all the time but I think you are doing a great job. Continue being great and encouraging your child to be great.

“Nothing is ever wrong. We learn from every step we take. Whatever you did today was the way it was meant to be. Be proud of you.”

Life after College (Part 1)

         Life after college and the depression it brings has to be the truest thing ever said. Let’s be real, when you are in school you have no cares in the world. For some people that is, you have your parents/family taking care of you and a bunch of friends to turn up with. Bills paid, somewhere to rest your head, money when you need it, Sallie Mae not stalking you. You’re not thinking too far into the future and just living for the moment. Once senior year hits, you’re finally hit with reality. What is life after college going to be like? Should I go for another degree? What am I really doing with life?

For some people they have been living the “life after college” struggle while being in college. Some people don’t have the benefits of having parents/family members to help them thru anything. They have been working 2 or 3 jobs to pay tuition and keep food on the table. Some people do have parents/family members to help them but the funds aren't there. So the hustle for a place in society actually begins while in college and for others right after. We hope that our internship provides us with an opportunity for a full time job, that we get something in our field by the time we graduate or that career services helps place us somewhere that can make us money. The reality of it all is that life after college is when you really become an adult and it sucks for most of us.

Some people are able to fall into their careers right out of college, while others face the struggle of trying to get in the door. One of the main reasons you won’t get hired is “that you don’t have enough experience,” but how will I get the experience if you don’t hire me? This is normally an excuse not to hire you instead of a legit reason. It makes sense doesn’t it? The first 6 months out of college, I applied everywhere and kept getting turned down because I was told that I didn’t have enough experience. My resume fits the position perfectly but I don’t have the proper experience to perform the job tasks. The life after college struggle is real and shouldn’t be ignored.

You also realize that your friend circle becomes smaller. You tend to surround yourself with like-minded people that want to grow or just random nobodies. The people that you use to turn up with, probably still turn up and aren’t doing anything. They might have just moved on from you and found a new group of people to hang out with. Life after college forces you to change into the person you will be for the rest of your life. You can always change that but college is literally the stepping stone into your adult life. The struggle can always set you up for something better, but nothing ever comes easy. Everything you do afterwards is another journey in your life.

 “Yesterday was disappointing and today isn’t better. Remember there’s always a tomorrow, so make it something to look forward to and smile”

Growth

I feel if you don’t grow you don’t learn. Growth is all apart life and if you are the same person you were last year then nothing has changed.  People always complain that nothing has changed or nothing new is happening but have you pushed yourself to move forward and change? Are you waiting for someone to push you to change? It’s all about setting your own goals and moving forward.

Personally I feel like I have grown a lot in the past year. I push myself to be better than the Kevin I was yesterday. With friendships, relationships, career and just everything in my life. You can’t remain stagnant and hope things fall into place. I’ve lost friends, made new friends, declined career opportunities and accepted others. They say to be patient and wait for things but you can only wait so long before you just have to continue moving forward and not look back. This concept applies to everything in your life. The thing about moving forward is that you want to move forward. You’re not letting anyone hold you back. When you have people holding you back, you won’t ever get anything accomplished. Year after year you have to grow as a person in every aspect of your life if you want to be great. 

A question I was asked recently was, “Why do you keep your friend circle so small?” My response was, “If your irrelevant and serve no purpose in my life, why should I keep you around?” You have to remind yourself not everyone is about growth and will hinder your growth if they aren’t growing. It applies to your career as well, if you are okay with your current position and feel you have reached your limit for growth then you won’t move. If you reached your limit and feel you need to keep pushing you will look outside your current workplace. Growth is a part of life, it’s up to you if you want to continue growing and moving forward with anything in your life. 

“Life is about moving on, accepting changes and looking forward to what makes you stronger and more complete”