The Bully Effect (Part 2)

Hey everyone just putting together my thoughts and I feel this is something everyone should be aware of. Bullying is something that everyone goes through but bullying deaths people really don't pay that much attention too. This is something I am very passionate about and that is just making people aware of things that they fail to realize is a big deal. Even though we may not be able to stop bullying we can always find a way to not let it get to us. Once we start to let things like this get to us then we let it define us as a person. At least once a week I check for articles about bullying deaths in 2013 that have not become mainstream because lets be honest people don't care. We should care when people are allowing social media (facebook, twitter, instagram . . .etc.) to dictate what type of person they are. We allow social media to run our lives so much that we forget that we need to define ourselves and not let these outlets define us. As we submerge ourselves farther into technology we forget that reality is whatever we see and not what others dictate for us on social media. If you have not read part 1 please click the link provided and check it out ---> The Bully Effect

Jadin Bell, died at the age of 15 after being taken off of life support because he hung himself. Jadin was bullied because he was gay.

For more information regarding Jadin Bell's story click on the two links --> Queerty & Huffington Post

Ashley Riggitano, died at the age of 22 after jumping off the George Washington Bridge. Ashley was being cyberbullied (via facebook)

For More information on Ashely Riggitano's story please click on the two links -->New York Post & Hollywood Life

Just make yourself aware of what is going on in the world. No matter how small something is, it is always good to share it with other people. As I said before, bullying will never go away but we can always find a way to not let it get to us. Bullying has no age limit so if you think just because you are older you are safe, you really aren't. Just never let anyone dictate your happiness and make you feel that you are worth nothing.


"There are going to be lots of hard times in your life, but those hard times only make you stronger in the end"

Friend Circles

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I feel that “friend circles” is not addressed enough. People just have one big group of friends and just let them mix and mingle. Let us be real though, not everyone is your friend and not everyone can mix. So we create friend circles in the hope to separate the good, the bad and the ugly. “Friend circles” is another way of knowing who you can go to for certain things and who can’t you go to. Who is down for a trip and who will flake out at the last minute. “Friend circles” does not mean everyone is your friend, it just means that you just need to separate the relevant people from the irrelevant. People like to keep irrelevant people in their lives, the people that are available sometimes but bring you down and still want something in the end. These people are still around, so you keep them in a separate circle.

            I actually have a couple circles and they are: reliable friends, only party with friends, broke friends, cheap friends, successful friends, nosey friends and the “user” friends.  Its good to have these circles because you can distinguish who your real friends are. You cant trust everyone, so to set up “friend circles” will save you the time of knowing who to avoid and who to keep around. Why not just remove the irrelevant people from your life? Well sometimes you have to deal with those people on a regular and they say “keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” If your not dealing with them on a regular tell them to keep it pushing.

            You can’t make everyone happy and not everyone is your friend but separating your groups will make life so much better. We tend to group people together just because we find it easy to manage this one large group. You should distinguish your “friends” from others because one person may belong in one group but not in another.

“A good friend is a connection to life, a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world”

Undeserving

So I’ve been talking to a couple people as of late and they all seem to say the same thing. They feel as though they are “undeserving” of what is given to them. They just feel that if they are treated “good” that it is too much and they don’t deserve it at the moment. When did this mentality of feeling “undeserving” start? Is it because we allow ourselves to be treated like crap all the time that when we are finally treated well it’s the wrong thing? Or is it cause we feel that someone has another agenda that the only reason they are treating us this way is because they want something?

            This can go either way for guys and girls because I feel that if you are being treated a certain way for the first time its like brand new to you. If its something good, you sometimes feel that it is too good and that you are “undeserving” of it. We are never satisfied with what we have and when we finally receive what we want or more we think that we don’t deserve it. What has brought us to this way of thinking? We sometimes let our friends “talk” in our ears influencing our decisions on what we deserve and what is considered “someone running game.”

            The truth is that this generation is confused about what they want and will think that everything they receive they aren’t ready for or undeserving. No one gets to where they are by thinking they are undeserving or not ready. You always have to check yourself so that you never do things for undeserving people or it will become an endless loop of never being happy. Even though you define your own happiness sometimes we allow other people to affect how happy we really are.

Communication Chasing

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I honestly hate talking about communication because it seems to be the biggest problem that our society/generation has at the moment. We can say that we don’t have a problem but we honestly do. With all the forms of communication we have we tend to fail at communication. We feel that if someone tweets something, post a picture on instagram or likes a comment on facebook that they are okay and everything is fine. In a sense we let these things trigger if we contact them directly or not.

            If you have to chase someone for communication then I feel you just need to take a step back and decide if they are worth the chase. The way that we are constantly wired into the world and the first excuse you hear is “oh I didn’t see your message,” always throws me for a loop. Granted you may be sleeping or you are just in your own world, no matter what EVERYONE checks there phone at least 5-10 times an hour. I am sorry but I will be honest with you, I have my phone with me all the time and if I don’t want to reply to you I just won’t. I don’t need to make an excuse about why I didn’t hit you up I will just tell you directly, I really didn’t feel like responding to you at all.

            Making up an excuse to avoid someone has become the norm for some of us but we gotta do what we gotta do. Communication chasing should not exist but it does because with more ways being created to communicate with people we continue to communicate less and less with each other. Look at the people that are getting “catfished” and ask yourself “why didn’t they skype, facetime or use tango?” We have so many ways to communicate with people but we choose not to. The next question is “do they really want to communicate with you?” If you feel someone is lacking in communication, maybe they just really don’t want to communicate with you. 

Never chase people for communication, take a step back and just remember that not everyone values communication as a way of keeping friendship/relationships alive.

(Poem) Black Heart

 

Heading back into my cave

Detoxing from my feelings

Keeping my thoughts to myself

I’ve become heartless

That heartless monster I said I’d never become

With not one ounce of care

My heart is black

Sitting in my cave

Rewinding back

Back to where my heart was black

They say listen to your heart

But my heart is black

Building my walls back up

Letting go of the feelings I once had

It’s not you, its me

I am darker then usual

Leaving everything behind

Trying this new wave

Hoping that I stop losing and finally win one

Realizing that no one is ever ready

Ima take a step back

            And let my heart become black

They brought me up

            To the point where I was the happiest

Then let me go

            Like I was a seasonal fixture

No longer in my feelings

I rather my heart be black

Black without a care in the world

I’m done chasing “what ifs”

            And I’m letting go of “what could be”

I’m done appreciating those

            Who don’t appreciate me

I’m done caring too much

            And being the old me

I’m overdosing on this “ I don’t give a fuck” mentality”

Losing friends along the way but

            I’m on this new wave

Gone with the wind

            I’ve become this heartless monster

Letting go of the old me

            And embracing the new

I’ve allowed my heart to become black

With not once ounce of care

I’ve become this black-hearted monster

~Kevin Pierre